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Substance Abuse
Am I enabling by feeding my son?
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<blockquote data-quote="nlj" data-source="post: 628604" data-attributes="member: 17650"><p>I think you need to sort out the problems between you and your husband before you can think about what needs to be done about your son. I am step-parent to my husband's children and he is step-parent to my older children. Sometimes this can cause differences of opinion, but it sounds as if the situation in your home is more serious than just simple differences of opinion. We are still all one family and have strong bonds and mutual respect and affection. It sounds as if the problems you have with your son are affecting your relationship with your husband and I think you need to make your marriage your first priority. You need to communicate with your husband and listen to each other's points of view and reach a common plan for dealing with your son where your husband is mindful of your feelings as a mother and supportive of helping you to back off from helping your son with things that maybe he could do for himself. I read a good book called 'The Step-parent's parachute' when I married my second husband. A lot of things in it were helpful. I have never had any serious issues with my step-children, but my husband has had to deal with my difficult child. You need a united front, based on communication, rather than this game of 'good cop, bad cop' that you seem to have going on. You don't say how old your son is, or how long your husband has been his step-father, or where your son is living. I sense some aggression and confrontation in your marriage that you are not happy with. I hope you post some more and that you find it helpful to share your story and read other peoples' experiences.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nlj, post: 628604, member: 17650"] I think you need to sort out the problems between you and your husband before you can think about what needs to be done about your son. I am step-parent to my husband's children and he is step-parent to my older children. Sometimes this can cause differences of opinion, but it sounds as if the situation in your home is more serious than just simple differences of opinion. We are still all one family and have strong bonds and mutual respect and affection. It sounds as if the problems you have with your son are affecting your relationship with your husband and I think you need to make your marriage your first priority. You need to communicate with your husband and listen to each other's points of view and reach a common plan for dealing with your son where your husband is mindful of your feelings as a mother and supportive of helping you to back off from helping your son with things that maybe he could do for himself. I read a good book called 'The Step-parent's parachute' when I married my second husband. A lot of things in it were helpful. I have never had any serious issues with my step-children, but my husband has had to deal with my difficult child. You need a united front, based on communication, rather than this game of 'good cop, bad cop' that you seem to have going on. You don't say how old your son is, or how long your husband has been his step-father, or where your son is living. I sense some aggression and confrontation in your marriage that you are not happy with. I hope you post some more and that you find it helpful to share your story and read other peoples' experiences. [/QUOTE]
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Am I enabling by feeding my son?
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