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Substance Abuse
Am I enabling by feeding my son?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 628615" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I just read this for the first time.</p><p></p><p>I can understand husband being unhappy with your son, but you are allowed to do what you want to do. Maybe you can tell your husband that if it bothers him he can take a walk or go somewhere when your son is in the house. Unless your son has physically attacked him or stolen from you, I don't see why this would bother him so much. I wouldn't listen to him.</p><p></p><p>When my son was living in hotels, and not very nice ones, I often stopped by with food and to talk to him. He was not allowed back in our house as he had almost assaulted me and had damaged things in the house, but I felt guilty, like everyone else does. Sounds like stepdad isn't too fond of your kid, but it's not his place to decide how you handle him unless your adult son is dangerous.</p><p></p><p>Sounds like hub is a big control freak. You're a good, loving mom in a bad situation and don't need his negative input. I know this is hard enough as it is.</p><p></p><p>On the other hand, your son is an adult and YOU should come first with you now, in my opinion. Twenty isn't that young if you think that the majority of twenty year olds work work least part time, go to some kind of school, respect our rules at home and are not in trouble with the law. Many are fighting for our country overseas.</p><p></p><p>I do not think twenty is so young. There are many responsible twenty year olds. difficult children just don't seem to want to do what society expects so they seem very young and drugs make you emotionally immature. In your son's case, he did many silly things that got him to the point he is at and I would be afraid to reward that. As a mom, I'd be nervous, but very angry at him. But I'm not you.</p><p></p><p>I probably wouldn't have made a blatant offer on unlimited food to my son as there are food cards and shelters and soup kitchens and eventually they have to grow up or they never will.In my case, I did not want to make a drugged up life comfy for my daughter. In my case, it also worked...she quit. Does it always? No.</p><p></p><p>But it's really up to you, not me, and not your husband.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 628615, member: 1550"] I just read this for the first time. I can understand husband being unhappy with your son, but you are allowed to do what you want to do. Maybe you can tell your husband that if it bothers him he can take a walk or go somewhere when your son is in the house. Unless your son has physically attacked him or stolen from you, I don't see why this would bother him so much. I wouldn't listen to him. When my son was living in hotels, and not very nice ones, I often stopped by with food and to talk to him. He was not allowed back in our house as he had almost assaulted me and had damaged things in the house, but I felt guilty, like everyone else does. Sounds like stepdad isn't too fond of your kid, but it's not his place to decide how you handle him unless your adult son is dangerous. Sounds like hub is a big control freak. You're a good, loving mom in a bad situation and don't need his negative input. I know this is hard enough as it is. On the other hand, your son is an adult and YOU should come first with you now, in my opinion. Twenty isn't that young if you think that the majority of twenty year olds work work least part time, go to some kind of school, respect our rules at home and are not in trouble with the law. Many are fighting for our country overseas. I do not think twenty is so young. There are many responsible twenty year olds. difficult children just don't seem to want to do what society expects so they seem very young and drugs make you emotionally immature. In your son's case, he did many silly things that got him to the point he is at and I would be afraid to reward that. As a mom, I'd be nervous, but very angry at him. But I'm not you. I probably wouldn't have made a blatant offer on unlimited food to my son as there are food cards and shelters and soup kitchens and eventually they have to grow up or they never will.In my case, I did not want to make a drugged up life comfy for my daughter. In my case, it also worked...she quit. Does it always? No. But it's really up to you, not me, and not your husband. [/QUOTE]
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Am I enabling by feeding my son?
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