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Substance Abuse
Am I expecting too much?
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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 727006" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>This is <u>strictly my opinion</u> but I don't think he should live with you when he finishes the program. I think the next step should be a sober living facility and then independent living. That could include living in a dorm in a recovery program at a college.</p><p></p><p>You said that he admits it is easy to stay sober while in a residential program like the one he is in. My daughter was always successful when she was in those situations. It was once she was out that she would relapse. I think that there needs to be a step-down that still has a structure and drug testing. The one my daughter went to the last time where she was finally successful had different levels where they earned more and more freedom before she went to a transition house and then her own apartment. </p><p></p><p>I don't know anything about his program but it might be structured like that. I hope so.</p><p></p><p>Another thing to think about is that it is very easy to regress when an addict returns to a situation that was problematic in the past. I know that I still see my daughter regress when she is with us for even a short period of time like the holidays. I am not talking about a relapse . . . just that she exhibits immature behaviors and becomes more childlike if that makes any sense. I find myself regressing, also. I treat her like she was in the past rather than the adult she has become.</p><p></p><p>When my daughter was in the first three-month program we sent her to, her single goal was to get to come back home. The director told her point blank that was a bad idea and she needed to work on becoming a functioning adult and that functioning adults don't live with their parents.</p><p></p><p>It was in this last program when my daughter finally got sober that she stopped talking about living with us and looked forward to living on her own. She never even thinks about moving back home anymore. I think that getting sober and growing up go hand in hand. I know that your son is much younger than my daughter so that is why I mentioned the possibility of going back to school and living in a special dorm for students in recovery.</p><p></p><p>RN, please know that I will support your decisions 100%. I am just giving you food for thought. I am glad that you are working with a therapist and she is on board. That is very important.</p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 727006, member: 1967"] This is [U]strictly my opinion[/U] but I don't think he should live with you when he finishes the program. I think the next step should be a sober living facility and then independent living. That could include living in a dorm in a recovery program at a college. You said that he admits it is easy to stay sober while in a residential program like the one he is in. My daughter was always successful when she was in those situations. It was once she was out that she would relapse. I think that there needs to be a step-down that still has a structure and drug testing. The one my daughter went to the last time where she was finally successful had different levels where they earned more and more freedom before she went to a transition house and then her own apartment. I don't know anything about his program but it might be structured like that. I hope so. Another thing to think about is that it is very easy to regress when an addict returns to a situation that was problematic in the past. I know that I still see my daughter regress when she is with us for even a short period of time like the holidays. I am not talking about a relapse . . . just that she exhibits immature behaviors and becomes more childlike if that makes any sense. I find myself regressing, also. I treat her like she was in the past rather than the adult she has become. When my daughter was in the first three-month program we sent her to, her single goal was to get to come back home. The director told her point blank that was a bad idea and she needed to work on becoming a functioning adult and that functioning adults don't live with their parents. It was in this last program when my daughter finally got sober that she stopped talking about living with us and looked forward to living on her own. She never even thinks about moving back home anymore. I think that getting sober and growing up go hand in hand. I know that your son is much younger than my daughter so that is why I mentioned the possibility of going back to school and living in a special dorm for students in recovery. RN, please know that I will support your decisions 100%. I am just giving you food for thought. I am glad that you are working with a therapist and she is on board. That is very important. ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
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