Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Am I expecting too much?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 727010" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Your son is at one of his BIG relapse points right now. It is actually very much HIS NORMAL that he wants to come home with you when you leave after this visit. Think about it a little. He goes to rehab, comes home to you, and then after about 3 months, what happens? He relapses. So his addicted brain is at roughly that point, give or take a little bit, and it is going to get that trigger. It is going to see you. So he is already thinking about coming home so he can go and use. THIS IS A GOOD THING.</p><p></p><p>Yes, that was a totally mind bending thing for me to say. It is a good thing because when you are there, you can say something about it to his therapist. Or, if you are more comfortable, print out what I typed and give it to her. It all depends on what is going on this weekend. I don't know if you have a family session over the visit or if it is unstructured. This IS something that needs to be addressed while he is there. He needs to be able to confront this pattern so that he can make a choice about breaking it.</p><p></p><p>You all, as a family, have very strong established patterns of behavior for who does what, when at the times that your son lives with you after rehab. Returning to your home after this long term rehab will trigger those established patterns of behavior. I am not really sure that there is a whole lot that could prevent it from happening. I am not saying that you could not help him establish himself (if you are able), but having under your roof will probably just not be healthy or comfortable for any of you. Not for a living situation, though a visit would be a different story (weeks, not months would be my suggestion). </p><p></p><p>Right now I don't think that you know what is reasonable to expect at any point in this process. Your son hasn't been in recover for very much longer than this in the past. At least that is my understanding. This is about the point that he usually relapses, isn't it? If his brain wasn't turning to drugs, I would find it strange. Of course, I am not an expert. Thankfully, he is with professionals who know how to redirect his thoughts so that he can maybe get a better grip on recovery.</p><p></p><p>You have not had a long time to break the behavior patterns that you learned either. Addiction makes us sick, too, remember? We do better if we get help for the PTSD and the codependence and the awful feelings and behavior patterns that we learned to cope with the substance abusers in our lives. That takes a substantial amount of time, and you just have not had a whole lot, yet. Do what you can to insist he stay in the program and hopefully he will make the changes he needs to make while he is there. </p><p></p><p>(((((hugs))))) (((((extra hugs)))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 727010, member: 1233"] Your son is at one of his BIG relapse points right now. It is actually very much HIS NORMAL that he wants to come home with you when you leave after this visit. Think about it a little. He goes to rehab, comes home to you, and then after about 3 months, what happens? He relapses. So his addicted brain is at roughly that point, give or take a little bit, and it is going to get that trigger. It is going to see you. So he is already thinking about coming home so he can go and use. THIS IS A GOOD THING. Yes, that was a totally mind bending thing for me to say. It is a good thing because when you are there, you can say something about it to his therapist. Or, if you are more comfortable, print out what I typed and give it to her. It all depends on what is going on this weekend. I don't know if you have a family session over the visit or if it is unstructured. This IS something that needs to be addressed while he is there. He needs to be able to confront this pattern so that he can make a choice about breaking it. You all, as a family, have very strong established patterns of behavior for who does what, when at the times that your son lives with you after rehab. Returning to your home after this long term rehab will trigger those established patterns of behavior. I am not really sure that there is a whole lot that could prevent it from happening. I am not saying that you could not help him establish himself (if you are able), but having under your roof will probably just not be healthy or comfortable for any of you. Not for a living situation, though a visit would be a different story (weeks, not months would be my suggestion). Right now I don't think that you know what is reasonable to expect at any point in this process. Your son hasn't been in recover for very much longer than this in the past. At least that is my understanding. This is about the point that he usually relapses, isn't it? If his brain wasn't turning to drugs, I would find it strange. Of course, I am not an expert. Thankfully, he is with professionals who know how to redirect his thoughts so that he can maybe get a better grip on recovery. You have not had a long time to break the behavior patterns that you learned either. Addiction makes us sick, too, remember? We do better if we get help for the PTSD and the codependence and the awful feelings and behavior patterns that we learned to cope with the substance abusers in our lives. That takes a substantial amount of time, and you just have not had a whole lot, yet. Do what you can to insist he stay in the program and hopefully he will make the changes he needs to make while he is there. (((((hugs))))) (((((extra hugs))))) [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Am I expecting too much?
Top