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Am I going overboard?
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<blockquote data-quote="'Chelle" data-source="post: 28290" data-attributes="member: 1161"><p>There was a time I punished at home for school behaviors. Then in a discussion with the teachers it was decided that I would not punish at home for what happened at school. My difficult child developed the idea in his head that once he'd had bad behaviors there was no use in trying to do good the rest of the day because he'd be punished anyway. Now it depends on what happened at school. If he gets in school recess detentions, we have a discussion about it, but he gets no consequences at home because he's already lost his recesses over it. Any violence towards anyone is automatic consequence at home (grounded no electronics of any kind, apology letters), but thankfully he's never been violent towards people. Any damage he does that we would have to pay for he pays for out of his money. If he's sent home/suspended, until I get home from work from 8:00 to 5:00, he spends the day in his room either on his bed doing nothing if that's what he chooses, or doing school work or workbooks. I have to make being home more boring and worse than being at school, or he would get himself suspended since he hates school. I've spelled these things out to difficult child so he knows exactly what will happen for what he does at school. For all of it he gets long lectures from mom, and to him those are almost the most severe punishment he could get since he hates being lectured so much. :rofl:</p><p></p><p>I agree with others, you have to be consistent, you and husband should be in agreement and your difficult child should have it spelled out beforehand - if you do this, this is what happens. Maybe all three of you could sit down and have a talk about what happens at school and consequences at home after. When my difficult child has some input, it seems to help him deal with his behaviors better.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="'Chelle, post: 28290, member: 1161"] There was a time I punished at home for school behaviors. Then in a discussion with the teachers it was decided that I would not punish at home for what happened at school. My difficult child developed the idea in his head that once he'd had bad behaviors there was no use in trying to do good the rest of the day because he'd be punished anyway. Now it depends on what happened at school. If he gets in school recess detentions, we have a discussion about it, but he gets no consequences at home because he's already lost his recesses over it. Any violence towards anyone is automatic consequence at home (grounded no electronics of any kind, apology letters), but thankfully he's never been violent towards people. Any damage he does that we would have to pay for he pays for out of his money. If he's sent home/suspended, until I get home from work from 8:00 to 5:00, he spends the day in his room either on his bed doing nothing if that's what he chooses, or doing school work or workbooks. I have to make being home more boring and worse than being at school, or he would get himself suspended since he hates school. I've spelled these things out to difficult child so he knows exactly what will happen for what he does at school. For all of it he gets long lectures from mom, and to him those are almost the most severe punishment he could get since he hates being lectured so much. [img]:rofl:[/img] I agree with others, you have to be consistent, you and husband should be in agreement and your difficult child should have it spelled out beforehand - if you do this, this is what happens. Maybe all three of you could sit down and have a talk about what happens at school and consequences at home after. When my difficult child has some input, it seems to help him deal with his behaviors better. [/QUOTE]
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