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Am I hitching a free ride?
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 648737" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>He is 31 years old and disabled. It is not your job to try to raise him to be responsible adult by your (or society's or anyone's definition.) His mother is an adult individual and apparently able to take care of her business. If she has decided to do things that keep her son able to live semi-independently, that is frankly her business. You have every right to make your decisions in how involved and which way you want to be with your step son.</p><p></p><p>It seems that your and his mother's understanding of what he is capable of doing and what not is different and she sees him more disabled than you do and you both act accordingly. You seem to think she sees him more disabled than he is and is enabling (as in: denying the growth opportunity) him to not live up his potential, but she may consider it differently. She may consider that his disabilities prevent him from total independence and that she enables (as in: makes it possible) for him to have relatively safe and independent life with basic comforts.</p><p></p><p>No way of knowing which one of you is right, or does it even matter, but while you certainly have a right to deal with your problematic adult kid as you think is best, and that is not hitching free ride, but it is also polite to respect other parent making her own choices and not criticizing her outlook too harshly. You are doing what you feel is right for him and for you. His mother is likely doing what she feels is right for him and for her. You are both making your own choices based on how you see things and what you think is right and no one is hitching free rides.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 648737, member: 14557"] He is 31 years old and disabled. It is not your job to try to raise him to be responsible adult by your (or society's or anyone's definition.) His mother is an adult individual and apparently able to take care of her business. If she has decided to do things that keep her son able to live semi-independently, that is frankly her business. You have every right to make your decisions in how involved and which way you want to be with your step son. It seems that your and his mother's understanding of what he is capable of doing and what not is different and she sees him more disabled than you do and you both act accordingly. You seem to think she sees him more disabled than he is and is enabling (as in: denying the growth opportunity) him to not live up his potential, but she may consider it differently. She may consider that his disabilities prevent him from total independence and that she enables (as in: makes it possible) for him to have relatively safe and independent life with basic comforts. No way of knowing which one of you is right, or does it even matter, but while you certainly have a right to deal with your problematic adult kid as you think is best, and that is not hitching free ride, but it is also polite to respect other parent making her own choices and not criticizing her outlook too harshly. You are doing what you feel is right for him and for you. His mother is likely doing what she feels is right for him and for her. You are both making your own choices based on how you see things and what you think is right and no one is hitching free rides. [/QUOTE]
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Am I hitching a free ride?
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