Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Am I hitching a free ride?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="hopeandjoy66" data-source="post: 648739" data-attributes="member: 18181"><p>Before difficult child's latest brush with death.... was stabbed in the neck from his "friend" the drug dealer that difficult child let live at his place. He held down a full time labour job and disability topped up his salary every month. He really has lived much more independently previous to that. He had an outsider handle his money matters, bills ect. were on automatic debit and he received an weekly allowance and smokes.</p><p>However when he started taking drugs, he demanded control over his money. Which they had to do. When he is manic or on drugs, (before he gets completely out of control, he is outgoing and very independent. So I know he is capable. However, the first thing he does is cuts ties with his mother as she is "too controlling and treats me like a child" Somehow all these things get done then when he is like this. The EX knows she is enabling him but has sworn that he is not going to be homeless while he is alive.</p><p>Echo, your right. The ex goes along enabling him until things start getting out of control then she phones husband and demands help with him.She is exhausted by then and then all we hear is... I do everything and you do nothing. Nobody has asked her to do these things for difficult child, including difficult child. He asks for nothing, but I think he knows that she will step in and do what she always does and make sure his life runs smoothly for him. It maybe even on a subconscious level. She takes that duty on herself. It has been a viscous circle for the last ten years except that now we are willing to let him deal with the consequences of his choices or his mother. Unfortunately, when he is on the downside, he is given no choices or opportunities, she lives his life for him.</p><p>I read this in someone's post this week and I thought it described the ex very well.</p><p>" My son has been my life for the past 23 years. He is all Ive got and now that he is gone Im lost.. "(in this case, 31 years)</p><p>I think this is true for ex. I actually feel for her. She will do what she will do. Unfortunately, she gives friends and family a scude perception of things. Again, we have no control of that either.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hopeandjoy66, post: 648739, member: 18181"] Before difficult child's latest brush with death.... was stabbed in the neck from his "friend" the drug dealer that difficult child let live at his place. He held down a full time labour job and disability topped up his salary every month. He really has lived much more independently previous to that. He had an outsider handle his money matters, bills ect. were on automatic debit and he received an weekly allowance and smokes. However when he started taking drugs, he demanded control over his money. Which they had to do. When he is manic or on drugs, (before he gets completely out of control, he is outgoing and very independent. So I know he is capable. However, the first thing he does is cuts ties with his mother as she is "too controlling and treats me like a child" Somehow all these things get done then when he is like this. The EX knows she is enabling him but has sworn that he is not going to be homeless while he is alive. Echo, your right. The ex goes along enabling him until things start getting out of control then she phones husband and demands help with him.She is exhausted by then and then all we hear is... I do everything and you do nothing. Nobody has asked her to do these things for difficult child, including difficult child. He asks for nothing, but I think he knows that she will step in and do what she always does and make sure his life runs smoothly for him. It maybe even on a subconscious level. She takes that duty on herself. It has been a viscous circle for the last ten years except that now we are willing to let him deal with the consequences of his choices or his mother. Unfortunately, when he is on the downside, he is given no choices or opportunities, she lives his life for him. I read this in someone's post this week and I thought it described the ex very well. " My son has been my life for the past 23 years. He is all Ive got and now that he is gone Im lost.. "(in this case, 31 years) I think this is true for ex. I actually feel for her. She will do what she will do. Unfortunately, she gives friends and family a scude perception of things. Again, we have no control of that either. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Am I hitching a free ride?
Top