Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Am I hitching a free ride?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="hopeandjoy66" data-source="post: 649164" data-attributes="member: 18181"><p>Opps.Press a button to soon. </p><p>Thanks to you all for your lessons learned and very wise insights. I do believe a man needs to learn to fish to eat. Somewhere along the line our difficult child was taught but the task was taken from him from a very early age by doing the fishing for him. Very sad.</p><p>I agree also with Cedar that the curse of enabling is very similar to addiction. People get entwined so badly that undoing all the knots is almost impossible.</p><p>I grew up with a very strict mother. Actually, abusive in so many ways. The day after graduation I left home and new I would never go back. I was never given the chance to have an opinion or say about anything. She was entangled in a mental / emotional way, you felt what she told you to feel. She continued that behavior until I was 44 years old. I realized that I was allowing her to still do this to me. I didn't like it so I had to change it. Not easy.</p><p>It has been my vow,not to meddle in my adult kids lives. Not always easy, but I did recognize that it was for them to solve their problems. Trust me not always easy. Today, I am more than willing to give advice when it is asked for and when they ask for it I do understand they will take it or leave it, but that it is their life to live.</p><p>I now understand that the hardships we have,(for me as child right up until I was 44 with my mother) makes us who we are today. The lessons have been invaluable. I wish I had recognized what I had to do earlier. I wish that for our difficult child's bio mom. I don't believe anything will change for difficult child until mom is untangled.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hopeandjoy66, post: 649164, member: 18181"] Opps.Press a button to soon. Thanks to you all for your lessons learned and very wise insights. I do believe a man needs to learn to fish to eat. Somewhere along the line our difficult child was taught but the task was taken from him from a very early age by doing the fishing for him. Very sad. I agree also with Cedar that the curse of enabling is very similar to addiction. People get entwined so badly that undoing all the knots is almost impossible. I grew up with a very strict mother. Actually, abusive in so many ways. The day after graduation I left home and new I would never go back. I was never given the chance to have an opinion or say about anything. She was entangled in a mental / emotional way, you felt what she told you to feel. She continued that behavior until I was 44 years old. I realized that I was allowing her to still do this to me. I didn't like it so I had to change it. Not easy. It has been my vow,not to meddle in my adult kids lives. Not always easy, but I did recognize that it was for them to solve their problems. Trust me not always easy. Today, I am more than willing to give advice when it is asked for and when they ask for it I do understand they will take it or leave it, but that it is their life to live. I now understand that the hardships we have,(for me as child right up until I was 44 with my mother) makes us who we are today. The lessons have been invaluable. I wish I had recognized what I had to do earlier. I wish that for our difficult child's bio mom. I don't believe anything will change for difficult child until mom is untangled. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Am I hitching a free ride?
Top