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Am I Horrible?
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<blockquote data-quote="GuideMe" data-source="post: 642307" data-attributes="member: 18233"><p>MWM, I still think people who are in susie's position should at least try. To answer your question, yes, it has worked for me the very few times that I have done it, are you kidding me? Of course! <strong><em><u>And I plan to do it more in the future,</u></em></strong> because it was more for <strong><em><u>me</u></em></strong> than it was for them. I think things should at least be talked about if they never have been addressed before, especially after 20 years. It's not about changing them, changing how they feel or changing how they treat you (because most likely, that won't change ). It's about just airing it out in the open once and for all. Telling them how SHE feels about the situation. Getting it off of <strong><em><u>her</u></em></strong> chest. I think she should do it, heck ya! And if in the rare chance it changes the relationship for the better, which could happen, then it's just the cherry on top of the cake. It should be a goal to make peace with the other party and if you can't, then at least you tried. At least you got it off your chest. You just have to be prepared for what they might tell you and you might not like it. You have to be willing to accept how they feel about you, especially if it's negative. You have to be prepared for whatever may come out of it (except for violence. if that is even a remote possibility, then keep your distance for your own protection. This is not worth getting hurt or going to jail over and karma will eventually get them in the end) I have no problem anymore accepting the negative remarks or outcomes , because the most important thing to me more than anything else is that at least <strong><em><u>I got to say HOW I FEEL</u></em></strong>. <em><strong>That is the important thing. </strong></em> After I hear their take on things and if they are not willing to budge , I tell them how I feel and my take on things and say "sorry you see it your way but I see it my way and we will just have to agree to disagree, but at least we know where we stand now and I appreciate you talking to me and being honest with me" All of this can be handled in a mature and respectable way, even if you don't like each other and never wind up being friends. At a certain point, the truth has to come out on both parts. The truth , in a very mature and respectable way, has to be spoken eventually. Can't live like this forever.</p><p></p><p>If she does decide to do it, then the <strong><em><u>best</u></em></strong> part about it is, she wouldn't have to lie or make excuses anymore which living that way can cause great stress like it is now for her. I know, I been there. They already treat her badly, what else does she have to lose at this point? For the VERY few times that I have done it, it made me feel so much better, the problem is, it's ONLY been a <em><u>few</u></em> times. The relief of getting things of your chest, confronting issues (not running away from them) and talking about things (so long as you have realistic expectations) knowing where you and the other party stands, is compared to none. You can't pay for a feeling like that. Having that feeling can change your life. In my opinion, it's very therapeutic.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="GuideMe, post: 642307, member: 18233"] MWM, I still think people who are in susie's position should at least try. To answer your question, yes, it has worked for me the very few times that I have done it, are you kidding me? Of course! [B][I][U]And I plan to do it more in the future,[/U][/I][/B] because it was more for [B][I][U]me[/U][/I][/B] than it was for them. I think things should at least be talked about if they never have been addressed before, especially after 20 years. It's not about changing them, changing how they feel or changing how they treat you (because most likely, that won't change ). It's about just airing it out in the open once and for all. Telling them how SHE feels about the situation. Getting it off of [B][I][U]her[/U][/I][/B] chest. I think she should do it, heck ya! And if in the rare chance it changes the relationship for the better, which could happen, then it's just the cherry on top of the cake. It should be a goal to make peace with the other party and if you can't, then at least you tried. At least you got it off your chest. You just have to be prepared for what they might tell you and you might not like it. You have to be willing to accept how they feel about you, especially if it's negative. You have to be prepared for whatever may come out of it (except for violence. if that is even a remote possibility, then keep your distance for your own protection. This is not worth getting hurt or going to jail over and karma will eventually get them in the end) I have no problem anymore accepting the negative remarks or outcomes , because the most important thing to me more than anything else is that at least [B][I][U]I got to say HOW I FEEL[/U][/I][/B]. [I][B]That is the important thing. [/B][/I] After I hear their take on things and if they are not willing to budge , I tell them how I feel and my take on things and say "sorry you see it your way but I see it my way and we will just have to agree to disagree, but at least we know where we stand now and I appreciate you talking to me and being honest with me" All of this can be handled in a mature and respectable way, even if you don't like each other and never wind up being friends. At a certain point, the truth has to come out on both parts. The truth , in a very mature and respectable way, has to be spoken eventually. Can't live like this forever. If she does decide to do it, then the [B][I][U]best[/U][/I][/B] part about it is, she wouldn't have to lie or make excuses anymore which living that way can cause great stress like it is now for her. I know, I been there. They already treat her badly, what else does she have to lose at this point? For the VERY few times that I have done it, it made me feel so much better, the problem is, it's ONLY been a [I][U]few[/U][/I] times. The relief of getting things of your chest, confronting issues (not running away from them) and talking about things (so long as you have realistic expectations) knowing where you and the other party stands, is compared to none. You can't pay for a feeling like that. Having that feeling can change your life. In my opinion, it's very therapeutic. [/QUOTE]
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