So, difficult child is 10. She's been in and out of therapy for 3 years. We have seen major improvement, but lately both her anxiety and anger (and aggression-verbal, mostly) have been on the rise. She's been back in therapy for a couple of months, with a new therapist (whom difficult child likes, which is why she's cooperating with therapy).
Here's what happened today that I find very disturbing. difficult child was outside with her younger brother (8) and sister (6), and the dog (on a leash). They play in the yard where I can keep an eye on them, and an ear out. Things have been better for a couple of weeks, so difficult child has had more freedom with regard to playing with her siblings. After a few minutes, the younger kids came inside crying because difficult child had threatened 1) to make them step in dog poop and 2) to "let the dog go, and he'll get hit by a car. See there's a car now." difficult child did admit to making the threat. She was threatening to do these things because they wouldn't do what she wanted them to do. (The consequences were/are: difficult child had to come in right away, and was not allowed to continue playing outside. Because I found the threat so disturbing: She is not allowed to take the dog out to play. She is not allowed to play with her siblings unsupervised, which will also reduce the amount of time she can play outside because I'll have to be outside too. I may add a more severe consequence, because I feel like I am just at my wits' end and just want to get through to her. I don't really think that a severe consequence will change her behavior though.)
Now, I find the threat about the dog to be very disturbing for two reasons (even though in all likelihood the dog would have been fine). 1) This was a very scary threat to the younger kids, which is why difficult child said it. They didn't know that the dog wouldn't get killed-and really, he could have run into the road and been hit even if it isn't likely. The younger kids deserve to not be terrorized this way. 2) difficult child is very impulsive when angry, and I'm not so sure that she wouldn't let the dog go if she were angry enough. I have seen her destroy objects that are important to her when she's angry. I plan to call her therapist before difficult child's next therapy session, because I don't think this therapist really gets the severity of difficult child's issues and their impact on our family and I think she should know about this.
But now that I have calmed down, I do wonder if I am overreacting at all? Is the therapist going to think I'm being overly dramatic? Just want to know what others think. Would this kind of threat disturb you? I feel like I have no perspective, because this is my normal. Though I know without question that my other kids would never make that kind of threat.
Thanks.
Here's what happened today that I find very disturbing. difficult child was outside with her younger brother (8) and sister (6), and the dog (on a leash). They play in the yard where I can keep an eye on them, and an ear out. Things have been better for a couple of weeks, so difficult child has had more freedom with regard to playing with her siblings. After a few minutes, the younger kids came inside crying because difficult child had threatened 1) to make them step in dog poop and 2) to "let the dog go, and he'll get hit by a car. See there's a car now." difficult child did admit to making the threat. She was threatening to do these things because they wouldn't do what she wanted them to do. (The consequences were/are: difficult child had to come in right away, and was not allowed to continue playing outside. Because I found the threat so disturbing: She is not allowed to take the dog out to play. She is not allowed to play with her siblings unsupervised, which will also reduce the amount of time she can play outside because I'll have to be outside too. I may add a more severe consequence, because I feel like I am just at my wits' end and just want to get through to her. I don't really think that a severe consequence will change her behavior though.)
Now, I find the threat about the dog to be very disturbing for two reasons (even though in all likelihood the dog would have been fine). 1) This was a very scary threat to the younger kids, which is why difficult child said it. They didn't know that the dog wouldn't get killed-and really, he could have run into the road and been hit even if it isn't likely. The younger kids deserve to not be terrorized this way. 2) difficult child is very impulsive when angry, and I'm not so sure that she wouldn't let the dog go if she were angry enough. I have seen her destroy objects that are important to her when she's angry. I plan to call her therapist before difficult child's next therapy session, because I don't think this therapist really gets the severity of difficult child's issues and their impact on our family and I think she should know about this.
But now that I have calmed down, I do wonder if I am overreacting at all? Is the therapist going to think I'm being overly dramatic? Just want to know what others think. Would this kind of threat disturb you? I feel like I have no perspective, because this is my normal. Though I know without question that my other kids would never make that kind of threat.
Thanks.