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General Parenting
Am I putting my younger children at risk?
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 69406" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>I am so sorry. I am lucky in that our oldest is easy child and an excellent role model for our difficult child.</p><p>At one point, we had a family meeting and told easy child that when difficult child hit her between the legs (a new fave of his when he was about 7), she had permission to hit him back, once and once only. She knew better than to smash his head into a cement wall (LOL) or we wouldn't have given her permission. But we needed to create an immediate consequence that was delivered from the source. The first cple times it happened, difficult child came running and screaming to us. I had forgotten the agreement and became alarmed and asked what happened. easy child said, "You gave me permission to hit him when he did that."</p><p>"OH! Yeah. Okay. difficult child, go to your room."</p><p>Then we'd walk away. easy child was empowered, difficult child disempowered. Plus, he had nowhere to turn. I hadn't realized that we had been adding fuel to the flames by putting them both in Time Out when they fought. You don't have "fair" consequences with-a difficult child and have to make up your own rules!</p><p>That only lasted a few wks and the behavior stopped.</p><p>Sorry, I'm not sure that helps you at all, just that it's a different approach to things.</p><p></p><p>Is your difficult child adopted? You have written in your bio that he's got attachment issues so that's why I ask.</p><p>What do you do when he throws things? What are the consequences?</p><p>Just wondering.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 69406, member: 3419"] I am so sorry. I am lucky in that our oldest is easy child and an excellent role model for our difficult child. At one point, we had a family meeting and told easy child that when difficult child hit her between the legs (a new fave of his when he was about 7), she had permission to hit him back, once and once only. She knew better than to smash his head into a cement wall (LOL) or we wouldn't have given her permission. But we needed to create an immediate consequence that was delivered from the source. The first cple times it happened, difficult child came running and screaming to us. I had forgotten the agreement and became alarmed and asked what happened. easy child said, "You gave me permission to hit him when he did that." "OH! Yeah. Okay. difficult child, go to your room." Then we'd walk away. easy child was empowered, difficult child disempowered. Plus, he had nowhere to turn. I hadn't realized that we had been adding fuel to the flames by putting them both in Time Out when they fought. You don't have "fair" consequences with-a difficult child and have to make up your own rules! That only lasted a few wks and the behavior stopped. Sorry, I'm not sure that helps you at all, just that it's a different approach to things. Is your difficult child adopted? You have written in your bio that he's got attachment issues so that's why I ask. What do you do when he throws things? What are the consequences? Just wondering. [/QUOTE]
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Am I putting my younger children at risk?
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