OK, you really do not have to answer that, at least pertaining to my past posts! If you have not kept up on my somewhat difficult child'ish life. My father was not in my life for much of my youth. He was in prison for heroin use, dealing. He gave up all rights when I was 5, I was adopted by my StepDad, who was pretty Abusive. I met my Father again when I was kicked out by Adopted Dad at 13/14. Bio-Dad was still a drug addict/alcoholic. Cocaine, freebase, some heroine almost anything everything else. I had been using already, he thought it was OK to use with me and teach me how to use more... I didn't know I had BiPolar (BP) back then, even though many family members were and Mom had committed suicide. So I was on my own again by 17. Lived with him again shortly for 1 year at 19 to try and go to college. He was very mentally abusive and still doing drugs... under house arrest at times, forced rehab, abusive to his wife, mostly mentally. I have seen him maybe once in 17 years. When I was pregnant with K. husband hated the way he treated me, husband at that point fully realized I WAS telling the truth about him. So "L" has been with the same woman now for awhile, he lives in Mexico, does not do drugs anymore. I think he still drinks? He has in the past year been trying to re-connect with me via e-mail. At first I did not respond. I made him do all of the work. I let out no info. He basically in his way admitted he could have done better. Which is big for him. I finally told him some about my family. I would not let him send me or the girls any presents for any of the holidays or birthdays. I would not give him info to put us in his will. I told him if he wanted to leave his granddaughters something he could. But I wanted nothing. I then went on to explain that if I ever let him meet my children it would be a commitment. I explained all about K and sent him info. I told him he could not just come into her life and then disappear. He has been trying so hard, I will go week or so and not write him, he writes and writes asks all about the girls, how are they. He remembers the birthdays sends e-cards. So he wants to move to Idaho, he used to live here. He wants to come up here for a couple of months to let his wife see the place and decide if she likes Sandpoint or not. They would go back and forth. I thought they could stay in our house, it would be August and September, we will not be here. husband said fine and thought it was a nice gesture and we need to move forward and I need to be the bigger person and show that I can let go of my past. husband has been very protective of all of this. SO I have my 20 year reunion at the end of August... I was thinking of flying up here to see my Dad for 2 days. He and his wife asked if it was OK if they could when driving back to Mexico, stop in Tucson for a couple of days? Meet the girls... I said yes, husband said sure. He has invited us to his place in Mexico, anytime. I am ready to let him go if he shows any signs of the past stuff. I am not looking for a Father. I don't have Parents, never have. I don't look at husband's parents as parents, it is not something I need. He even said we don't have to tell the girls who he is... I think I will. and just hope for the best. If he and I become friends I think that would be fine and I can't expect much more than that right now. What do you guy's think.