Jess has seen and heard my bro go off on me or husband and I a number of times. He has even gone off on her because he feels that we have no right to insist he not speak to her however he wants. She has seen my mom's strange reactions to it. What I want, have always wanted for my children is for them to know that they can walk away and get away from anyone who abuses them, anytime. Regardless of whether the abuse is physical, emotional, verbal, etc.... She told me today that we seem to end up in this situation about every 6 months to a year with my bro. She asked how she and thank you are supposed to know how to get out of an abusive situation if I don't show her how? Sometimes she nails the problem exactly. Makes me see a different angle, and realize that I am allowing my family to treat me with supreme disrespect usually because my mother gets upset. I do have power. I CAN insist that he stay away from us. I have custody of half of my parents' grandkids. They are so afraid of not being able to see my niece, well, maybe they should treat me with the same care bro and exsil get. I have decided that when my bro decides to confront me at/in my home I will tell him to leave and call the Sheriff. After my parents come home I will treat bro civilly in my parents' home but will leave as soon as possible after he arrives, regardless of what is going on. I won't be rude, but will treat him like the meter reader or anyone other stranger. If I see him around town and he says hi I will smile and walk away or make an excuse and go to another area if he won't leave me alone. Phone calls will not be answered. If they are accidentally picked up, I will gently hang up. He is just too toxic. If my parents cannot take my side for one frickin' time, they will not see us or will see a lot less of us. It isn't going to be easy and I may whine to y'all. Thanks in advance for the patience and cheese. I have to change a lifetime of training, but my kids are worth it. If I cannot yet make this happen for me then I will dang well make it happen for Jess and thank you. She is SO smart and really gets to the heart of things, that girl of mine!