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An absolute whirlwind!
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 652716" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Weary, i don't see either of you "going back" to where you were a month ago. You both have learned a lot in the past 30 days. You are both different today.</p><p></p><p>Is she fixed? Are you fixed? Are any of us ever..."fixed"? I don't think so...I think we live and learn and do the best we can in any given moment. </p><p></p><p>We are changing all the time. All of us. </p><p></p><p>I don't know how you are feeling about your husband just deciding to bring her home. I do understand why he did it---his hurting heart for his daughter---but I can also see how that blindsiding of you would be extremely upsetting. You have your mind around what you are going to do, and then it's all turned upside down in a second, even for a good reason, like she is very sick.</p><p></p><p>It would take some time to adjust to that, even if it's a good idea.</p><p></p><p>And really...what else could you do at this point?</p><p></p><p>I often worried about my son getting hurt and then I would have to take him into my house again and live with his sickness or injury or whatever it was...plus his active addiction. I understand. </p><p></p><p>I am hoping that she has had a true change of heart and she is ready for a new way of living. Early indications are promising, from what you posted.</p><p></p><p>But we all know that we need to proceed cautiously...in our hearts. Work to expect little to nothing and be pleasantly surprised. </p><p></p><p>Enjoy THIS moment. Your precious daughter is at home getting well. She is taking some good steps. Let that be enough for right now.</p><p></p><p>And realize this: You have changed. You are better equipped---as you said---today to deal with life on life's terms. Not just with your daughter, but in all of your relationships. Learning the lessons we learn here are valuable in every area of our lives.</p><p></p><p>There is no betrayal, no "going back", no "time wasted" or even "mistakes." We do the best we can with the information we have, and what we can live with. </p><p></p><p>And that is enough. Warm hugs. Please keep us posted on her and on you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 652716, member: 17542"] Weary, i don't see either of you "going back" to where you were a month ago. You both have learned a lot in the past 30 days. You are both different today. Is she fixed? Are you fixed? Are any of us ever..."fixed"? I don't think so...I think we live and learn and do the best we can in any given moment. We are changing all the time. All of us. I don't know how you are feeling about your husband just deciding to bring her home. I do understand why he did it---his hurting heart for his daughter---but I can also see how that blindsiding of you would be extremely upsetting. You have your mind around what you are going to do, and then it's all turned upside down in a second, even for a good reason, like she is very sick. It would take some time to adjust to that, even if it's a good idea. And really...what else could you do at this point? I often worried about my son getting hurt and then I would have to take him into my house again and live with his sickness or injury or whatever it was...plus his active addiction. I understand. I am hoping that she has had a true change of heart and she is ready for a new way of living. Early indications are promising, from what you posted. But we all know that we need to proceed cautiously...in our hearts. Work to expect little to nothing and be pleasantly surprised. Enjoy THIS moment. Your precious daughter is at home getting well. She is taking some good steps. Let that be enough for right now. And realize this: You have changed. You are better equipped---as you said---today to deal with life on life's terms. Not just with your daughter, but in all of your relationships. Learning the lessons we learn here are valuable in every area of our lives. There is no betrayal, no "going back", no "time wasted" or even "mistakes." We do the best we can with the information we have, and what we can live with. And that is enough. Warm hugs. Please keep us posted on her and on you. [/QUOTE]
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