When I got home last night after a brutal day at work, I went about my routine, one of which is to plug my phone in to charge. I hadn't looked at my phone until then, mainly because where I work, we are not allowed to have our phones on. When I plugged it in, the screen lit up showing that I had a voice mail. I looked at the call log and saw that it came from the state where my son is. There was a wave of uneasiness that came over me. I dialed into my voicemail and listened. It was my son. The greeting was said with confidence and alertness that to be quite honest, was refreshing. He wanted to let me know that he had a phone and asked me to call him. He said he loved me. I sat there for a moment taking it in. It was a pleasant surprise. Usually his voice is drained and heavy with the attitude of come join my pity party. I had another wave of uneasiness come over me at the thought of actually calling him back and having an actual conversation. I did not want to. I then stopped because I remembered "I have boundaries and I am in control of my life" I remembered that I have an army of warrior parents who have been and continue to be there for me. I reminded myself that I had nothing to fear in having a conversation with my son as long as I hold true to my boundaries. I am strong and will not get sucked into the vortex of chaos. I took my phone out to the living room and let my husband listen to the voicemail. I then dialed my son's number and put it on speaker so husband and I both could talk to him. It rang and rang and then went to one of those automated messages that the caller was either unavailable or out of service area. There was no option to leave a voice mail for him. Copa, I read this yesterday and it stuck with me. It truly helped me when I heard his voicemail. I love the visual of it. I do not have to insert myself into HIS story. Thank you Copa!! Leafy, this is exactly how I was feeling, that feeling of shifting from dread to it's okay. I don't know what the future holds for my son. I enjoyed hearing his voice and the confidence in it. I am realistic enough to know that this could turn sour at any given moment. I know that when I do have a conversation with my son I will offer no advice nor will I ask many questions. I will listen and when I've had enough, I will tell him I love him and that I wish him well. Thank you all you wonderful warrior parents who have helped me.