An ODD child

[sahmof6]

OKay hopefully I will get used to this site and hoping it works for me. I am at the end of my rope and not sure what to do. My son started not turning things in at the end of fifth grade and it has become worse every year. Last year, 8th grade, he failed and couldn't just do summer school, he also did an online HS course. He did the online stuff, with much pushing from his dad and I, and got an A. The principal worked with us and let my son have two extra days to finish his summer school stuff since he didn't get it done and yes I ended up helping him out some. Now 9th grade first quarter he failed 3 of his 4 core classes. Second quarter is failing 5 of his 6 classes. Phy Ed is an A-. He does pretty good on his tests and quizzes but just does not turn anything in. He will even do some of the work and just not turn it in. He goes to school no problem but and hasn't gotten into any trouble this year other then a tardy once in a while. We don't even want to talk to him because we don't know what kind of mood he is in. I tried taking him to counseling and he walked out. Aaaargh. We have five other kids that we are trying to raise too. My son swears all the time and nothing seems to get him to stop. We have given him consequences, taken things away, tried privileges and nothing works. I can't take much more.

 

[BusynMember]

Hi there and welcome.

ODD doesn't normally stand alone and he's sort of old for an ODD diagnosis. Has he ever been evaluated by a neuropsychologist? Has he had problems all of his life or are they new?

Do you have any psychiatric problems on either side of this child's biological family tree? Any substance abuse?

How was this child's early development and does he know how to socialize appropriately? Did he speak on time?

Is this a blended family? If so, how is this affecting him.

Have you thought about drug use?

If he is failing school there has to be a reason. Kids don't decide to flunk school. Either they can't do the work maybe due to learning disabilities, which need a diagnosis, or they are having psychiatric problems or neurological issues. Many of us feel that NeuroPsychs are the best diagnosticians and I highly recommend taking him to see one. They do 6-10 hours of intensive testing in all areas. They are psychologists with special training in the brain. Your son won't have to "talk" to him as in a therapeutic setting. Therapy probably isn't the answer for your son anyway, at least not by itself.

Others will come along. It would help if you gave us more background. We really don't know anything about him other than how he is acting right now so that makes it harder to give direction.