An odd thing...

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by klmno, Apr 12, 2009.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I was thinking about my ex-H yesterday- it's an odd thing- we weren't married that long and he was explosive and physically abusive when he lost his temper. Anyway, we met via his sister when I was in high school. There were about 4 of us girls that always hung out together, his sister being one of us, and she talked me into taking him to the prom because he had quit high school and never had an opportunity. I knew he had married another of us girlfriends from high school shortly after our divorce and that they had a few kids and that he had passed away a few years ago. His sister had passed away a couple of years before him. I always wondered if he had been violent with his 2nd wife, since their marraige lasted a long time. I don't know how my X died but the obit said he died at home. My guess is that it would either be suicide, drug overdose, or a heart attack.

    I did a google search because I was wondering what happened to his 2nd wife after he died, being that she was an old high school friend, too. She has a myspace and I went to it. (Was that bad?) It talks about how she made such bad choices in the past and paid a big price for them and ended up with so much heartache. It talks about pain in her life and being a single parent after being widowed. It shows photos of her and the kids. (They look a lot like my X.) They had a daughter about the same age as my son- they named her what I was going to name difficult child if he had been a girl. That's a very weird coincidence! She talks about interests and of course, some are so similar to mine and brought back some memories from high school. She also had a photo of her sister, which was another one of my friends, back in the day. She's trying to meet people now and a special man to help her "know that all men aren't the same".

    I know I shouldn't contact her and stir up any carp or pain or bad memories and I would not want to hang out with her now or have close communication anyway. But, my heart goes out to her now. I really wish I could tell her I'm sorry- although I never did anything bad or wrong to her. I guess I'm just sorry that she lead the life I avoided by getting a divorce. Of course, it's not like I am such a success now and look where my kid is, so I sure don't feel like I'm any better than she is.

    I also feel a little guilty because now I feel like I've invaded her privacy. I need to just get this off my mind!
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2009
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    You haven't invaded her privacy at all. She has all that out there for the world to see, so please don't beat yourself up over looking for it. I think your curiosity is natural and normal. The only benefit I could see in contacting her would be so that difficult child could know his 1/2 sibs.
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Ohhhhh....this was not difficult child's father....we were divorced long before difficult child was born.
  4. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Oops! Well, what I said about not feeling guilty still stands. :D