An uneasy yet familiar feeling...

blackgnat

Active Member
I'm having a big problem with the idea that he would hurt himself in this way and the reasoning behind it. I don't want him to be picked on. I want him to be okay but I fear that he is so damaged that there will never be a happy ending for him.

Sorry to be whiny-I am just struggling today...
 

Childofmine

one day at a time
Blackgnat, your feelings today are so right on. First, when you heard what happened and why, you were angry and cynical about why he did this. Today, you are shaky and upset. Stages of grief, blackgnat.

We keep cycling through them when "things" happen with our difficult children.

Perhaps depression, bargaining and acceptance are next in line. I used to think all of my feelings were unique and they would hit me like a ton of bricks.

I learned over time that I would go through this cycle more and more quickly as time went on, and I would recover more quickly.

Info that might be helpful: http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/000617

Having said all of that, I am so sorry that he did this. From a mommy standpoint, we hurt when they are hurt, and we despair over the long-term outcome.

Today, I pray that we all can just simply accept what is. And then have a good day anyway.

Hugs and blessings and prayers to you this day. Take care of yourself today.
 

recoveringenabler

Well-Known Member
Staff member
I'm sorry Blackgnat.

COM is right on, we do cycle through the stages of grief.

Look to your arsenal of ways to feel better, one immediate thing you can do is go take a walk. Studies show that within 11 minutes, our brains shift our mood. Call a friend to have lunch with.....go have your nails done.

The pathways in the brain get worn into a ditch called FEAR and when we respond the way you are, the transmitters of the brain continue down that same path, over and over and over again.........we have the power to change that pathway by our thoughts and actions........meditation, yoga, walking, exercise, shifting our thinking onto something else, even if we have to continue trying to shift it over and over works. It's a practice, but it works.

One thing that I used to do a lot is go for a drive. I live about an hour from the ocean so it's a nice drive and there is something about standing on the shore of the vast ocean that changes ones perspective. The woods can do that too, nature..........it's very healing.

This stuff hurts, there's no doubt about it. But we can minimize and shorten the impact on us by the ways we respond. Go grab your day and try to enjoy it. Sending hugs your way.............
 
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