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An uneasy yet familiar feeling...
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<blockquote data-quote="blackgnat" data-source="post: 626064" data-attributes="member: 13561"><p>Such beautiful and thoughtful words in all of the replies! Isn't it weird how our experiences with these difficult children can result in us taking a real inventory of WHO we ARE and WHAT we REALLY think? Its a side effect of being tested in such a stressful way that we become raw. We have to get stripped down to a whole slew of introspection and examination of what our core values really are. What do I think? Is it okay to think that? What is this new situation that has produced such a feeling in me? Can I embrace it or should I reject it? Wild!</p><p></p><p>Anyway, here comes the inevitable update...</p><p></p><p>Today at work I got a call from the exgirlfriend's mom (The girl still wants him back-in fact tried to get a bunch of people to raise bail for him but they couldn't apply it because they are renters. ???? He says he doesn't want anything to do with her). She visits him every week. She left a message and said that she had seen my son today and he wasn't doing too well. She didn't want to text about it and asked me to call her after work.</p><p></p><p>He called me after work and said that he had cut his wrist with a razor blade because he was overwhelmed by the idea of being there. He had been planning it but kept changing his mind and then all of a sudden was doing it. He said it wasn't a suicide attempt but was more intense than a self-harming action that a teenager would do, for example. So they moved him from the pod he was in to another unit. He was given a Time Out (!) and is now in a quieter place, with more medications.</p><p></p><p>He said he was doing better and he certainly sounded okay. For some reason, I was devoid of the Bowel Freezing sensation and was quite calm throughout the whole conversation.</p><p></p><p>Five minutes after I hung up, the exgf's mom called and asked if I had spoken to him. She said that he had asked her not to contact me ("You don't know my mom-she's been through a lot with me. This won't phase her". Not sure how to process THAT one!) but she felt that I should know. She said he has been down lately and he is implying that some of the other inmates have been picking on him. I did NOT want to hear that. She asked me if there was anything I should know about him (do you HAVE an hour?) because she wants to help him but doesn't want to be over-supportive. I told her that if her instincts tell her to back off, she should do so. She asked me if I thought he would back with her daughter-he told her he didn't want to , but this girl is determined to reconnect with him and I feel that his ego will not permit him to ignore her when he gets out...</p><p></p><p>So I kind of felt it was a lot of drama creation on his part. Obviously I don't want him to be self harming, but the cynic in me feels that he wanted to get out of this new, larger, noisier pod (especially if he is being picked on-or is he just telling HER that for sympathy? He IS a tiny little guy and quite feminine looking so it wouldn't surprise me if some of the knuckle draggers are targeting him) and used a drastic measure to get out of there. He also has a chance at having this all under the jurisdiction of mental health court-just wondering if he's building a case for that?</p><p></p><p>Not sure what to think. Just another round in the drama? Cause for concern-and I can help, how?-that's right, I CAN'T.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="blackgnat, post: 626064, member: 13561"] Such beautiful and thoughtful words in all of the replies! Isn't it weird how our experiences with these difficult children can result in us taking a real inventory of WHO we ARE and WHAT we REALLY think? Its a side effect of being tested in such a stressful way that we become raw. We have to get stripped down to a whole slew of introspection and examination of what our core values really are. What do I think? Is it okay to think that? What is this new situation that has produced such a feeling in me? Can I embrace it or should I reject it? Wild! Anyway, here comes the inevitable update... Today at work I got a call from the exgirlfriend's mom (The girl still wants him back-in fact tried to get a bunch of people to raise bail for him but they couldn't apply it because they are renters. ???? He says he doesn't want anything to do with her). She visits him every week. She left a message and said that she had seen my son today and he wasn't doing too well. She didn't want to text about it and asked me to call her after work. He called me after work and said that he had cut his wrist with a razor blade because he was overwhelmed by the idea of being there. He had been planning it but kept changing his mind and then all of a sudden was doing it. He said it wasn't a suicide attempt but was more intense than a self-harming action that a teenager would do, for example. So they moved him from the pod he was in to another unit. He was given a Time Out (!) and is now in a quieter place, with more medications. He said he was doing better and he certainly sounded okay. For some reason, I was devoid of the Bowel Freezing sensation and was quite calm throughout the whole conversation. Five minutes after I hung up, the exgf's mom called and asked if I had spoken to him. She said that he had asked her not to contact me ("You don't know my mom-she's been through a lot with me. This won't phase her". Not sure how to process THAT one!) but she felt that I should know. She said he has been down lately and he is implying that some of the other inmates have been picking on him. I did NOT want to hear that. She asked me if there was anything I should know about him (do you HAVE an hour?) because she wants to help him but doesn't want to be over-supportive. I told her that if her instincts tell her to back off, she should do so. She asked me if I thought he would back with her daughter-he told her he didn't want to , but this girl is determined to reconnect with him and I feel that his ego will not permit him to ignore her when he gets out... So I kind of felt it was a lot of drama creation on his part. Obviously I don't want him to be self harming, but the cynic in me feels that he wanted to get out of this new, larger, noisier pod (especially if he is being picked on-or is he just telling HER that for sympathy? He IS a tiny little guy and quite feminine looking so it wouldn't surprise me if some of the knuckle draggers are targeting him) and used a drastic measure to get out of there. He also has a chance at having this all under the jurisdiction of mental health court-just wondering if he's building a case for that? Not sure what to think. Just another round in the drama? Cause for concern-and I can help, how?-that's right, I CAN'T. [/QUOTE]
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