Things have felt a bit more stable since my son has a flat and is no longer homeless, I have been feeling happier again and had some respite from his drama. Today however, he came to my house. He rang the bell and though I didn’t let him in, I told him to go down the road and I would pick him up. I knew he must have again lost his phone as that is the only time he comes to my house. We have a restraining order that he cant come - yes I know I should have just rang the police - but he was battered again - broken nose (I think), Black eye. When in the car, he told me that 2 of his friends beat him up - he said he had gone round and they were on drugs and paranoid that he had a gun (I live in the UK and it is very unusual for anyone to have a gun and he didn’t have one of course). They apparently then jumped him and beat him up (it’s now the third time I know of that one of these friends has beaten him up). He won’t stop being friends with such awful people. He told me he will stop today but I know he won’t. I think he has a fear of loneliness and boredom - maybe because of his ADHD and autism. He contacted his friend (who had also taken his phone again) and arranged to go to get his phone - but suddenly we had to go to 2 other addresses first - he gave reasons like they owed him money etc. When he was at one of the addresses, I checked his facebook messenger that he had left open on my phone and it was his friend telling him to get drugs (it didn’t exactly say that but reading through the lines it was obvious) and then he would give him his phone back. This made me furious that I’d been sucked into ferrying him around to get drugs unknowingly. Also while in the car, my son mentioned debts he was in and how no one cares about him, how he will hang himself one day and I would have driven him to it, he fluctuated between crying and shouting and then begging me to let him come home because he can’t cope on his own. The whole thing has set me back today and really unsettled me. I feel sucked into his chaos but so worried for him too because he is vulnerable with his friends although he is terrible with me. I am not looking for advice as I know what I should have done - I should have contacted the police when he came to the house (hard though when he is battered and just wanted help to get back his phone), I shouldn’t have taken him in the car but I did for the same reason. I don’t think I can cope with any judgement and criticism today as I just feel so unsettled and am holding things together as I don’t want my daughter to know I’m upset. I just think I’m posting on here because it helps me. Once I had dropped him off in the car, an old song came on the radio from my teenage years and I cried, I just remembered that time when my parents were alive and life was so happy and simple.