An Update - - Marriage & Pregnancy

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Momslittleangels, Sep 30, 2007.

  1. Momslittleangels

    Momslittleangels New Member

    Hi All:

    It has been awhile for the latest update, but things have been busy in the MLA world. easy child had moved out with her b/f about 3 months ago and husband and I purchased a smaller home for just the two of us. It is very cute and fit us to a tee.

    THEN ...... the news came down! It would seem that easy child was getting engaged to her b/f and they were planning to be married in Oct. 08. We were just starting to talk about those plans, when two weeks later, she finds out she is expecting a baby. I guess the wedding could still go on next October, since she will have insurance for the baby (under us) and then can get married afterwards (otherwise, she loses her insurance in the middle of all of this). They will need to move back to our house until the baby is born, so they can save some money, but then they really, really want to get a place of their own. At least they WANT to be independent.

    Once I got the pg news from easy child, difficult child tells me that SHE is also getting married to a guy she met 3 months ago and is living with her. He is rejoining the Army and she will go with him. Not necessarily a bad thing, but worry about the time that they have known each other. She is almost 21, so not much I can say, but I really think that she is doing this as a competition to easy child's situation. It has always been that way between difficult child and easy child.

    What can you do??? I am softhearted and will support them the best I can, while keeping them independent. I can only pray that everything works out for both of them.

    I hope you are all doing well and I try to drop by often to check in on everyone. The time seems to fly by and before you know it, another year has passed. Best wishes to all of you parents who are going through trying times, and know that we are all here for you!

  2. goldenguru

    goldenguru Active Member

    Depending on your state laws your daughter should be eligible for Medicaid. They pick up 100% of her and medical expenses during the entire pregnancy and for 6 months afterwards. They will also cover the baby for several years. She may also be eligible for WIC.

    Why do they need to move back home? If they are surviving currently, I would suggest you really consider having them come back home ... especially if she plans to bring the boyfriend with her.

    We just went through this with our daughter. She got pregnant and lived with us for 6 months after she gave birth. Then the kids got married. As much as I love my daughter and grand daughter it was difficult ... and we have a fair size home. Her boyfriend was here CONSTANTLY after the birth. I love this young man I really do ... but it was hard having them here sooooo much.

    That's my $.02 worth ... absolutely free of charge ... :smile:
  3. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member

    It is amazing how the direction of your life can change so quickly due to your children's actions.

    I am sure this is not the way you pictured it. But, you are still a mom and you are sweet to let them move in. I, too, needed that for a couple years. I did work hard to get my own place though. If you find them not working to move out, start acting like the child's parent - that is what pushed me quicker!)
  4. Momslittleangels

    Momslittleangels New Member

    Goldenguru: Currently, they are living with b/f's mother and grandmother and I think easy child would rather go through this with HER Mom. That's a compliment, I guess - - she trusts me and knows I will help her, but it will be hard for everyone for awhile.

    Busy: I definitely know that they need some help too, because we went looking for apartments the previous weekend and we couldn't find even a 1 bedroom place for under $1000 month. Southern California is sooooo expensive and I feel for kids these days, because they just can't survive on their own, especially with minimum wage at $7.50 hour.

    When husband and I moved out on our own at age 19, our apartment was $425 a month and I thought that was horrible - - and we both worked 40 hours a week and made about the same amount per hour as the kids do now. Wages have definitely NOT kept up with the cost of living here.
  5. goldenguru

    goldenguru Active Member

    "we couldn't find even a 1 bedroom place for under $1000 month"

    Well that certainly gives me a different perspective. Good grief.