And a knight on a white horse comes to the rescue ...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TerryJ2, Dec 1, 2009.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Some of you may remember the guy whose memoir I helped write. He is from Zimbabwe and an American citizen. He dropped out of sight while applying for university teaching jobs but had no luck. I emailed him to help tutor difficult child, or just play basketball with-him, and he emailed back! Ta-da!
    I don't know when he'll start but I am so excited!

    I looked online for our soc svcs programs and they are for state adoptions, and below poverty income level. Also, if I were to place difficult child in temporary foster care, he would have to be a danger to himself. They do a very thorough home study. At this point, he's not doing the obvious things like slashing his wrists, using drugs, etc. so I know they wouldn't take him. There are so many others in great need ...

    I'm still considering boarding school for spec needs. There's a great one 3 hrs away but he'd only be able to go for 2 yrs b4 he ages out.

    Last night, difficult child came into my office and told me that the reason ("Well, more like an excuse," he admitted) he was such a jerk yesterday (I didn't even bother to post about that one) was because he was afraid of being sent away.

    Say what? You're afraid of being sent away so you behave even more badly?
    The REAL reason is because he got up in the middle of the night and played on his computer. Where he finds these mice is beyond me. I think they're real mice and they breed at night.
    Past experience shows that he is an absolute monster when he goes with-o sleep. He admitted to husband that he'd been sneaking downstairs and admitted it affected his temperament.
    Meanwhile, thank d8G for Clonidine!

    Tonight difficult child has been an angel. I asked him why, and he said, "Because I don't want you to send me away."

    So, this is his standard response, regardless whether his behavior is good or bad.

    I simply replied, "Oh. Well, you're behaving very well."

    I'm not making ANY promises!!! ;):whiteflag:

    P.S. I took away the mouse and the monitor and hid them.
    P.P.S. I still can't find where I hid the TV cord.
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Is he using the computer to go online or just as a computer? Maybe he doesnt need the mouse. Maybe he can work it with just the keypad. My son can. Lock it down at bios. Or get windows 7 and lock him out for certain time periods.
  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    No online access in his computer. But I will look at the bios. Thanks!
  4. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Terry, computer games & the like are calming for wm. It's the one thing that keeps him still. Saying that, he has no computer in his room & he's shut down with McAffee. You don't need to purchase Windows 7.

    I do the same with kt's access to her Sims games.

    If you cannot afford Residential Treatment Center (RTC) & it's recommend by psychiatrist then I'd suggest the you take difficult children case & go before the state medical review team. If the state decides that difficult child is disabled he should receive a medical assistance card; that with the fact that he is in the system will help pay for Residential Treatment Center (RTC). You'd be asked to pay child support payments.

    Additonally, if you go to your county's children's mental health team & apply for help with a child in need of services you may have better luck. This takes a lot of leg work; a lot of stepping over heads, etc. In the end you may find what you need - in home services.

    It took me almost a year but once I did all of the above we got services in here quickly. (We did adopt from foster care but found that wasn't the only criteria. There are many families with children with mental health issues & are a danger to their families.)

    Just wanted to offer this to you - it's not always about children adopted privately. It's being persistent, what your county & state decide on your difficult children condition. Our initial call was to CPS; we were found to be good parents, it was our children that were a danger.

    Good luck

  5. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thank you!