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Substance Abuse
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 687472" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Karen, I am sorry I am just now seeing your thread. I want to add my voice to the chorus of support that you hold firm. I am of a minority who feel that substance use trumps college. That is I believe we as parents need to confront bad behavior (i.e risky behavior) first, and the college will come later. </p><p></p><p>By pushing the concern about substance use and acting out under the rug, we risk giving the message that we in some way condone it, if we keep supporting our children. </p><p></p><p>I believe what you are doing takes courage but it is the right thing. I was self-supporting and put myself through college on my own dime. When I had nowhere to stay, I found a place, simple as that.</p><p></p><p>It sounds like your son is resisting growing up. It is all too comfortable to make mum and dad responsible while he demands a life of freedom and self-determination. You are saying to him--we are on the down side of the mountain son. Good for you.'Why should he, as long as you make it comfortable for him? Of course he is squawking. Good for you.</p><p>I agree. He is acting out in your home. His behavior is dangerous to himself and to others. Tangles with the law are no laughing matter. </p><p></p><p>He is at a choice point. Let him begin to choose to do right for himself, by himself. He will define himself as a man. It is hard for us at first, because their lives seem to hang in the balance. But this is why it is so important. You are giving your son the opportunity to begin to act like a real man and to have pride in himself, his decisions and his behavior.</p><p></p><p>I truly believe you are doing the right thing and I applaud you for it. I know how hard it is.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 687472, member: 18958"] Karen, I am sorry I am just now seeing your thread. I want to add my voice to the chorus of support that you hold firm. I am of a minority who feel that substance use trumps college. That is I believe we as parents need to confront bad behavior (i.e risky behavior) first, and the college will come later. By pushing the concern about substance use and acting out under the rug, we risk giving the message that we in some way condone it, if we keep supporting our children. I believe what you are doing takes courage but it is the right thing. I was self-supporting and put myself through college on my own dime. When I had nowhere to stay, I found a place, simple as that. It sounds like your son is resisting growing up. It is all too comfortable to make mum and dad responsible while he demands a life of freedom and self-determination. You are saying to him--we are on the down side of the mountain son. Good for you.'Why should he, as long as you make it comfortable for him? Of course he is squawking. Good for you. I agree. He is acting out in your home. His behavior is dangerous to himself and to others. Tangles with the law are no laughing matter. He is at a choice point. Let him begin to choose to do right for himself, by himself. He will define himself as a man. It is hard for us at first, because their lives seem to hang in the balance. But this is why it is so important. You are giving your son the opportunity to begin to act like a real man and to have pride in himself, his decisions and his behavior. I truly believe you are doing the right thing and I applaud you for it. I know how hard it is. [/QUOTE]
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