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And he's out......
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 626930" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Yes that is me and my difficult child. I feel like when I am with him or talking to him and he is "on" I am in the eye of a tornado. Everything is whirling and moving fast and I can't keep up and I don't understand any of it and I start feeling sick inside. I even can feel dizzy and nauseated. It is a visceral response. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes. It is surreal. It is crazy-making. I feel a very strong instinct to get away from it as fast as I can. I feel like I am in danger. It's a fight or flight feeling. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>That is what I am doing now. But because I love him so much, I circle back after a period of time. I test the water, carefully. If the water is warm, I stick my toe in, and then start to move into the water a little bit. I must be careful here, though. Because nothing has changed, I can slip on the slippery bottom and go under. That happened last time when I extended the 10 minutes a week into an additional afternoon and then more phone calls. This is very slippery business, and if I'm not careful, I can go under and start to drown. When I finally come up for air, I get a little smarter for next time. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>We must grieve it, work through it, recognize it, detach, and then finally accept. Sometimes we have to do it over and over again. Thanks be to God that we have breaks in the action---like jail---that allow us to catch our breath and gear up again. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is the only pathway to peace. I am reminded of my aunt who I wrote about a few days ago, who is 75 and her difficult child is 42 (I think) and they are still dancing the sick dance. There was another new person who wrote here who is older as well dealing with her son who is in his 50s. These are important lessons for me to hear and see and bear witness to.</p><p></p><p>I do not want that for my life. I am working so that is not my life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 626930, member: 17542"] Yes that is me and my difficult child. I feel like when I am with him or talking to him and he is "on" I am in the eye of a tornado. Everything is whirling and moving fast and I can't keep up and I don't understand any of it and I start feeling sick inside. I even can feel dizzy and nauseated. It is a visceral response. Yes. It is surreal. It is crazy-making. I feel a very strong instinct to get away from it as fast as I can. I feel like I am in danger. It's a fight or flight feeling. That is what I am doing now. But because I love him so much, I circle back after a period of time. I test the water, carefully. If the water is warm, I stick my toe in, and then start to move into the water a little bit. I must be careful here, though. Because nothing has changed, I can slip on the slippery bottom and go under. That happened last time when I extended the 10 minutes a week into an additional afternoon and then more phone calls. This is very slippery business, and if I'm not careful, I can go under and start to drown. When I finally come up for air, I get a little smarter for next time. We must grieve it, work through it, recognize it, detach, and then finally accept. Sometimes we have to do it over and over again. Thanks be to God that we have breaks in the action---like jail---that allow us to catch our breath and gear up again. This is the only pathway to peace. I am reminded of my aunt who I wrote about a few days ago, who is 75 and her difficult child is 42 (I think) and they are still dancing the sick dance. There was another new person who wrote here who is older as well dealing with her son who is in his 50s. These are important lessons for me to hear and see and bear witness to. I do not want that for my life. I am working so that is not my life. [/QUOTE]
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