And I'm called a DUMB A**!!!!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Charmedpea, Jul 28, 2008.

  1. Charmedpea

    Charmedpea New Member

    difficult child is grounded for not coming home on time and then going out when she is not supposed to the next day.

    so yesturday still grounded, she says take me somewhere umm no. I want ice cream. Nope we are not going anywhere. Calls me everyname in the book goes up stairs and punches the door I dont know how many times. Then comes down stairs and says take me to the ER. I tell her no put ice on your hand.

    Today at difficult child soft ball game she comes in from the outfield almost when the game is over and says take me to the er my hand pinky hurts and my hand. nope you can move your pinky lets give it a couple more days. games over and we are in the car on the way home. I asked her a question get the look of i'm going to kill you and then says. You are a dumb a** because you wont take me to the doctor.

    I so wanted to say hey did you take a look in the mirror who punched the door because they couldnt go out and get ice cream. I kept my mouth shut. I didnt want it to turn in to something worst.

  2. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    You're MUCH more polite than I am...when told how much her hand hurts, I have said, "I'm not the idiot who punched the wall...duh! Don't punch the wall and your hand won't hurt!"

    I do understand what you mean about not escalating the situation, but I just couldn't resist! :tongue:
  3. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    I know what you mean about riding the escalator... some days it is just SOOOO tempting!!! Some days I feel like it's a race to see who can get to the TOP and JUMP OFF FIRST!!!!

    Kudos to you for finding the strength to bite your tongue today.
  4. Calgon_Take_Me_Away

    Calgon_Take_Me_Away New Member

    I'm proud of you for staying grounded with- the comments ~ we too have to pick our battles. Somedays are easier than others.
  5. Christy

    Christy New Member

    Way to stay strong! And good for you for taking the high road. I wouldn't have been able to resist the bait and told her who I thought was the the dumb a** and why.
  6. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Well done! Don't you love those "Terms of Endearment"!

    How long has she been taking the Concerta? Our difficult child was on it for a long time and it was actually causing more of the outbursts and increasing their severity as time moved on.

    Just a thought!

  7. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sometimes it is actually more satisfying to keep the comments in our own head.
    Way To Go!!!
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    LOL! I am sorry, but just thinking of all the retorts you or I could have made is so amusing! Simply replying that she's the dumb#ss because she wrecked her hand was good enough though.
    This is what kids say when they can't think of anything else.

    Sorry. I'll try to remember the humor in this the next time my son pulls the same stunt. Which should be in 6 days ...
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Sometimes, for my own therapy, I write doewn the crud the kids say and EVERY response I can think of over the next few days. In looking back, I used to be a much worse smarty pants than I am now.

    HUGS and KUDOS for keeping your mouth shut and biting your tongue!
  10. barbie

    barbie MOM of 3

    My response to whenever my kids say they want something for example, mommy I want some cookies. My response is I want to win the lottery looks like neither of us is getting lucky.
  11. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

  12. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Short word
    Very good to know
    Doesn't de escalate, but doesn't give reason TO escalate
    Taught to us by our therapist (very good man)


    This is really not going to take ANY effort on your part.

    The words

    Uh Huh. (must be said like you're reading a book, and trying to listen to someone talk about a boring subject you could care nothing about)

    Uh huh.....

    difficult child: You're a dumb #SS - uh huh - AND
    YOU:THAT"S an extra week for disrespecting language

    difficult child:OHHHHHHH YOU REALLY ARE A JE(I#)($#)_
    YOU:Uh huh - and now thats 2 weeks

    difficult child:YOU ARE A$#U$#)#)(I
    YOU:Uh huh - you're up to being done with grounding on September 5th now.

    difficult child:ARhhhhhhhhh
    YOU:uh huh

    Then you just walk away - leveling consequences = if you have them for being the Mom in your own home and being called foul names - and just calmy and assertively - keep racking up the consequences. THen STICK to them.

    I think except for the part where she repeatedly calls you names and got no consequence? You did well - but some will tell you to ignore the language and some will tell you no way. That's up to you! But if I just called you that name - for no good reason - how would you feel? Why then is it different for our kids with some? Don't know - don't want a debate but just doesn't happen in our house.