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Parent Emeritus
And I'm officially done being a parent.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 676285" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hi Seagenie</p><p></p><p>You are in the same boat as many of us. The expectation of a nice visit is not a realistic one. I am sorry. </p><p></p><p>I have limited my contact with my own son to the circumstances that I can control. That is pretty much at this point limited to phone calls that he initiates. He has accepted my rules. No endless complaining. No conspiracy theories. No abuse. Talking about something that is of interest to the both of us. </p><p></p><p>He has not asked for anything in months, now. </p><p></p><p>I do not ask for more, either. This is all I can tolerate. I hope it changes. It is out of my hands. It may or may not.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry for how it hurts. For you and for me. For all of us. We can control our expectations. For now, I expect only courtesy and respect from my son. Not companionship. Not even love. I am no longer sad now that I am taking responsibility for what I want and don't want. </p><p></p><p>It is a different way of thinking. I was a single mom too. My son is my only child. I felt sorry for myself because he was all I had. I no longer see it that way. I have myself and anything more I am willing to be open to. And to insist upon.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting. It helps. </p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 676285, member: 18958"] Hi Seagenie You are in the same boat as many of us. The expectation of a nice visit is not a realistic one. I am sorry. I have limited my contact with my own son to the circumstances that I can control. That is pretty much at this point limited to phone calls that he initiates. He has accepted my rules. No endless complaining. No conspiracy theories. No abuse. Talking about something that is of interest to the both of us. He has not asked for anything in months, now. I do not ask for more, either. This is all I can tolerate. I hope it changes. It is out of my hands. It may or may not. I am sorry for how it hurts. For you and for me. For all of us. We can control our expectations. For now, I expect only courtesy and respect from my son. Not companionship. Not even love. I am no longer sad now that I am taking responsibility for what I want and don't want. It is a different way of thinking. I was a single mom too. My son is my only child. I felt sorry for myself because he was all I had. I no longer see it that way. I have myself and anything more I am willing to be open to. And to insist upon. Keep posting. It helps. COPA [/QUOTE]
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