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Parent Emeritus
And I'm officially done being a parent.
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<blockquote data-quote="Quicksand" data-source="post: 676307" data-attributes="member: 19405"><p>I feel your pain. My son abuses drugs and has mental illness, which he blames on us (husband and I- but mostly me) - I had my son out of wedlock and my husband adopted him when he was almost 3 and we have a daughter also.</p><p>He will not accept responsibility for any of his actions, it's all because of our "abusive" home. We were not perfect, but we did not abuse our children. His choices have led him to be 23 years old, 2 drug felonies, no car, no place to live (that I'm aware of) and few friends. We have loved him and tried to give and do everything possible to help him. There have been times where he's said: I'm so lucky I have you guys and I appreciate everything you do for me. These words come from him when he's being fully supported by us. Things changed when , for the last time he was here, in our home and we tried to talk to him about some drug behavior that was disruptive to the family. He lost his mind and became belligerent and shouting at us. After hours of this, My husband stood up and told him to stop or he was going to knock his block off. Not the best choice on hubs part but, jeeze.. How much do we have to put up with? He left our house and hasn't been back. He sent texts saying: you are s$it parents, f you, just pretend that I don't exist. I heard from him on Thursday when he totaled his car and we didn't jump to fix it for him. I did offer him a ride to therapy, that's all. I guess that made him pretty angry.. I looked at my phone last night and here's the text he sent:</p><p>What kind of mother uses emotional blackmail against their children and allows them to be abused. You're a sick human and evil just like your mom. I don't forgive you for anything.</p><p>I had to look up "emotional blackmail" and I really don't get where he's coming from with that. I didn't respond and I'm not going to engage in these lies.</p><p>Just want to let you know, by my story, that you are not alone! This is hell, but the folks here can help you learn loving detachment and caring for yourself. They've helped me immensely. I love my son, but his manipulative cruelty is something I'm not going to carry. I believe he's feeling desperate and is trying to start a dialog with me where in the past, I would have engaged him and tried to rescue him because I do believe he has emotional pain, and we want to help him, but it's not because we abused him and his behavior gets worse the more we do for him. Just know, you are understood and we are out here, at your side.. Hugs</p><p>(Just noticed, you aren't new here.. You already know about all of the love on this board!)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Quicksand, post: 676307, member: 19405"] I feel your pain. My son abuses drugs and has mental illness, which he blames on us (husband and I- but mostly me) - I had my son out of wedlock and my husband adopted him when he was almost 3 and we have a daughter also. He will not accept responsibility for any of his actions, it's all because of our "abusive" home. We were not perfect, but we did not abuse our children. His choices have led him to be 23 years old, 2 drug felonies, no car, no place to live (that I'm aware of) and few friends. We have loved him and tried to give and do everything possible to help him. There have been times where he's said: I'm so lucky I have you guys and I appreciate everything you do for me. These words come from him when he's being fully supported by us. Things changed when , for the last time he was here, in our home and we tried to talk to him about some drug behavior that was disruptive to the family. He lost his mind and became belligerent and shouting at us. After hours of this, My husband stood up and told him to stop or he was going to knock his block off. Not the best choice on hubs part but, jeeze.. How much do we have to put up with? He left our house and hasn't been back. He sent texts saying: you are s$it parents, f you, just pretend that I don't exist. I heard from him on Thursday when he totaled his car and we didn't jump to fix it for him. I did offer him a ride to therapy, that's all. I guess that made him pretty angry.. I looked at my phone last night and here's the text he sent: What kind of mother uses emotional blackmail against their children and allows them to be abused. You're a sick human and evil just like your mom. I don't forgive you for anything. I had to look up "emotional blackmail" and I really don't get where he's coming from with that. I didn't respond and I'm not going to engage in these lies. Just want to let you know, by my story, that you are not alone! This is hell, but the folks here can help you learn loving detachment and caring for yourself. They've helped me immensely. I love my son, but his manipulative cruelty is something I'm not going to carry. I believe he's feeling desperate and is trying to start a dialog with me where in the past, I would have engaged him and tried to rescue him because I do believe he has emotional pain, and we want to help him, but it's not because we abused him and his behavior gets worse the more we do for him. Just know, you are understood and we are out here, at your side.. Hugs (Just noticed, you aren't new here.. You already know about all of the love on this board!) [/QUOTE]
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