...and it all falls apart.

pasajes4

Well-Known Member
You are the homeowner. You can file a restraining order on J. You should not have to put up with him showing up on your property.
 

Lil

Well-Known Member
You are the homeowner. You can file a restraining order on J. You should not have to put up with him showing up on your property.

We're not there when he comes and he's never done anything to US - if our son won't complain, we have no way to swear J's done anything wrong. There's no law against someone coming over and knocking on the door or sitting on the patio or even coming in with our son's permission. Again, he'd say he was invited and unless our son would complain, no case. So actually, under our state's laws, we have no grounds for a restraining order.

Now, should he do something crazy like break the glass on the patio door - we'd call the police, have him arrested, then dance a jig because we really want to replace those doors but can't afford it and with a break in insurance would pay. But that would be terrible. :whistling:
 
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mof

Momdidntsignupforthis
Prayers for your stress. I know it seems y out u would like him close..but perhaps a new place could beneficial.

I agree...bits of the story seem missing...but does t make it less crazy!

Bless his giving heart.
 

GoingNorth

Crazy Cat Lady
This sounds suspiciously like J has "got something" on your son, Lil. Something is giving J this power over your son and your son needs to figure out what it is. This goes beyond "mooching" or J knowing your son is a "soft touch". There's a lot more to this story than what your son is telling you, and the reluctance to involve the authorities indicates to me that there may be illegal activities involved, or at least something that your son would find earth-shatteringly humiliating/embarassing that J knows about/has threatened to make public, ie: blackmail.
 

Jabberwockey

Well-Known Member
There's a lot more to this story than what your son is telling you, and the reluctance to involve the authorities indicates to me that there may be illegal activities involved, or at least something that your son would find earth-shatteringly humiliating/embarassing that J knows about/has threatened to make public, ie: blackmail.

Can't know for sure but fairly certain that our son is mainly concerned with J cutting off his access to herb and he would find that devastating. Granted, its not like dealers give a hoot about who you are or what you've done as long as you're not a cop and have money. The only way he could do that was to convince them that our son was a snitch, and he has said multiple times that J would have people jumping him on the streets. Its the only thing that I can think of. Well, that and the fact that J is unstable enough to just pop up wherever and whenever to make his life hell. I have no concerns about him showing up while we are there. He knows I have no problem with calling the police to have him removed.
 

Lil

Well-Known Member
the fact that J is unstable enough to just pop up wherever and whenever to make his life hell

I lean toward this explanation.

Many of you know what it's like to have your kid just be in your face and beg and argue and scream and beg and weasel and cry and complain and threaten and beg some more. Coupled with my kid's general inability to handle stress in a healthy way...I think that is why he gives in and gives him stuff. Heck I'VE been known to just give my kid stuff just to have a minutes peace. I'm sure Jabber would confirm that I've been known to say, "Fine, here's $5 for cigarettes." or "Fine. Take the car." Just to get him to STOP and leave me alone. I think that's what happens to our son. He says NO and J just asks again 3 minutes later, over and over, until he does what J wants just to get a minutes peace.

He could block his number, but then he uses another phone. He was getting texts from other people FOR J on Saturday. He blocks Facebook, and J uses another person's Facebook page or makes a new profile that isn't blocked. I think he truly does believe that J would simply not stop. Not quit showing up at his house. Not quit showing up at his job. Not quit eating his food, bumming his smokes, drinking his liquor and generally driving him crazy. I mean - 40 messages by 10 a.m. folks - that's NUTS. He played us one voice mail yesterday - abusive rant all because my kid ignored his phone. You and I expect to visit with a friend and they don't answer, we leave a voice mail and make other plans. Maybe we're irritated. This is shouting, "WTF you say to hit you up and now you don't answer the effing phone? Well eff you, you little beeotch!"

Combine it with my son's unwillingness to call the cops - because yeah, he's afraid someone might jump him, but also simply because that's the most uncool thing anyone could EVER do and it would be all over town among people his age that he's a snitch, a narc, whatever - that can't be trusted. Or at least, that's what he believes. I can pretty much guarantee that no one would ever sell him weed again. Which would make me smile, but make my son very unhappy. (Which is also weird because I no longer think the weed is that big of a deal. Oh he loves it and wants to go to Colorado because of it - but it's not like he's stoned all the time like he was a few years back.)

So yeah...maybe there is something we don't know. But I think it may be simpler than that. My kid has his own "Difficult Child". Go figure.
 

Lil

Well-Known Member
What a mess.

You ain't heard nothing yet.

A - the guy he was getting the trailer with - just came and asked if our son was home. When jabber said no, J came to the door. Mentioned our son's light was on. Son hid in the bathroom. Really. Jabber told him he wasn't home.

He now has taped trash bags and a blanket over his window.

He actually expects to live like this for a week? Why won't he just tell them he lost his job and spent the money? It's over. Now leave him alone. Why?
 

Jabberwockey

Well-Known Member
Either Friday or Monday but at this point at least I plan on pushing for Friday. He has a friend in a nearby town who might be able to let him stay there for a few days.
 

pasajes4

Well-Known Member
My phone won't let me quote. Lil, i understand about the nerves. I'm confused about j and his involvement with the person he was going to share the trailer with. Seems fishy. Of course that is all moot at this point. I must say j is rather a piece of work challenging you on wether son was at home or not.
 

Lil

Well-Known Member
Yep. They all know each other. Whether J knew A before or if our son introduced them, I don't know. But all these guys kind of hang out together.
 

mof

Momdidntsignupforthis
It is good he is leaving...hopefully with a better friend.

If all these sketchy characters had jobs...they wouldn't have time for all this middle school foolishness!

My patience would be nil.
 

Lil

Well-Known Member
It is good he is leaving...hopefully with a better friend.

Actually, his friend who was going with him has now backed out. He apparently did not get as much money as he'd thought he would and he is not going. My son says this has not shaken his resolve (his very words). He has asked us to book the earliest possible trip...probably Friday.

I was fine yesterday. Today, not so much. :(
 

mof

Momdidntsignupforthis
Lil,

So sorry for this development. No, I'm sure your not ok with it all...or things going as they are. Something needs to give...
 
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