I haven't posted since March or April, so you probably don't remember the situation. 21yo difficult child step-son was kicked out of our house about a year and a half ago for drug use/not following rules/disruptive behavior, probably the same things you all have dealt with to one degree or another. Lived with various friends, kicked out, went to his mom's where he stayed for about a year. Worked sporadically, got girlfriend pregnant, drug use and behavior only got worse. Mom finally had enough and kicked him out, so he went to live with his girlfriend and baby at their friend's house. He had just gotten a really good job with benefits and plenty of overtime. Was acting like a normal person. Well, that lasted all of 5 weeks. He lost job in mid-August and hasn't gotten another since. girlfriend and her friend finally got tired of him and kicked him out. He went to a homeless shelter and his dad took pity on him and took him back here, thinking that he could start working immediately at the Day Labor Site near here where he had worked previously. The thought being that he would work for them during the day and hunt for permanent jobs in the evening. Well, of course, he didn't mention that he had been banned from Day Labor for not returning their stuff. Not only didn't mention that fact, but also gave his dad a hard time when dad tried to get him up and out of the house at 5am to get there and be first in line. Getting the truth from him on anything is like pulling teeth and he makes everything so difficult. And he wouldn't follow any rules that he had agreed to. And he lies about everything. I had to take on the role of rule-maker/enforcer. His dad has a tendency to relax the rules that difficult child won't follow, hoping that he will follow the more relaxed rules, then finally blow up when the relaxed rules continue to be ignored and kick him out, then feel bad for over-reacting and let him back in. He tends to attribute everything difficult child does to his disability and this is re-enforced by his mom who is continually putting her 2 cents in and is telling dad that we can't kick difficult child out because he is mentally ill in her opinion. (of course, she kicked him out of her house, but the rules don't ever apply to her). We went on the merry-go-round for 11 days and dad's blood-pressure skyrocketed. Well, it's been better behavior-wise since Monday. He is following the house rules and going out every weekday 8-5 to supposedly look for work. However, I don't believe he is serious about job-hunting. He gets up, throws on sloppy, unwashed jeans, t-shirt, sweatshirt or hoodie, slides his feet into his ridiculously way-to-big for him size 13 shoes (he insists that they fit, though his dad and brother wear size 13 shoes and his feet are WAY smaller than theirs) and leaves on foot without shower, hair-comb, or teeth brushed. He's back at 5pm on the dot, after having finally given up on getting back in earlier. So, the deadline for getting a job is next Thursday. What should the consequences be for not getting a job, if he hasn't found anything? I'm pretty sure he believes that if he follows house rules and makes some weak attempts to look for work, he can do this indefinitely. Which is what his dad would probably allow if it weren't for me. He knows his dad well. He obviously hasn't hit rock bottom and we think he is happy with the status quo, living here like a child. Dad is in agreement with me on needing to have consequences. I'm getting so tired of this! We can't leave him here at the house alone because we can't trust him and he has nowhere to go so we can feel held hostage. We were going out of town this weekend and had to cancel, so I am feeling particularly unhappy today. Any ideas?