Hi. I am at my wits end. Today I decided it might be better if I just drove my car off the freeway overpass. I just am making too many mistakes with my difficult children. No, Im not going to drive it off the overpass, just feel like it. My household includes my husband, adult daughter and her 4 boys (difficult children) and the sons 3 girls (difficult children) that we are raising. Considering all the difficult children and their assorted problems and attitudes we are doing fairly well. We fortunately are renting a 6 bedroom house (4,000 sq ft) so there is room for everyone with out bumping into each other. Its when one difficult child or another decides to monopolize everyones attention and time causing a complete breakdown in any structure we might have had going on that day. And so dawns another day...... I am weary. We have raised our 3 difficult children for 6-1/2 years. Rescued them from the daughter-in-law after she took them to a drug party. Daddy was trucking with his girlfriend. difficult child #1 decided over the summer to live with her dad, they had a blowout and he sent her home to us. First couple weeks back was a honeymoon period. She was adorable and sweet. Shes been here about a month now and she is moody, cries all the time, instigates fights among all the other difficult children and then denies any part of her involvement. She ducks out of her chores whenever she can and when she does them, it is only done sloppy. She has informed us that living with her dad, his girlfriend and their 2 boys is far better than living here. We have given up so much to raise these girls that I am crushed when she says that. Her dad lives in a hovel and has geese, ducks and a rooster in the living room. There are 3 ferrets in the boys bedroom, cant find the kitchen for the filth, and his most beloved pets are his spiders and scorpions!! Enough of that.....anyway she says shed rather go back than stay here. I have no idea what I am doing wrong. My husband is heartbroken. He was crushed when she wanted to stay at her dads. I am so upset with her that I almost wish she were gone. difficult child #2 spend 6-1/2 years having tantrums that were Academy Award winners. This girl can scream non-stop for 3 hours. She has pulled her hair out in clumps, bites herself til she bleeds, hits herself til shes bruised.....the list goes on and on. For the better part of 6 years, I was basically housebound as I was afraid to be in public with her for fear that she would start a tantrum or someone would see her self-inflicted bruises and think we did it. In the last month and a half since we have been in the big house as we call it, the tantrums have stopped. She is a model child. She sings or hums constantly, does her homework without being told and stays at it until it is finished. She willingly does her chores and often those that other difficult children wont do. She finally is a joy, but oh the journey was a LONG one, let me tell you. And one I didnt think we would live through. difficult child#3 is cognitive disability (what a term!!). She has her moments when she is sweet, but those moments are fleeting as you find the wet, soiled clothing hiding in her drawers or that the new bottles of shampoo and conditioner you put in their bathtub yesterday is all gone as it was used for play during her shower. She tends to take difficult child cousins favorite Legos and either manages to break the little men during play or they find their way into her backpack. She goes into her Aunts room and takes anything not nailed down and then lies about it. She was potty trained, then started wetting at night, now it is all day, too. I dont want her classmates to laugh at her if I send her to school in GoodNights pullups, but I dont want her wet and smelly, either. She has stopped wiping her bottom so her underwear is disgusting at best. I cant seem to get her to understand the need to wipe and keep her panties clean. She used to be so good about this, but the last 6 months or so she has gotten really bad. I love her dearly, but am fed up. I wonder what I did to get 3 difficult children. I signed on to raise the 3 girls thinking that with 3 square meals, clean beds, cute clothes, daily baths and the occasional hugs that it would be alright. I had no idea that the kids came with baggage that would test our very souls and every ounce of our energy. I dont want this challenge. I need a break. I want some ME time. Cant remember when I worked on my scrapbooking last, crocheted, cooked for the love of it, or sewed for fun. These kids take everything out of me and I am tired and drained. I truly wonder if I was that much of a sh-- to my parents and if that is why I got my difficult children to raise. We go through the motions of parenting without any of the feeling. Its like walking in a fog.