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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 752971" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hello there Kalahou, yes indeed you are my neighbor. It’s been awhile dear friend, thank you for your kind words.</p><p>The same goes to you dear sister. I hope all is well. It is so nice to “see” you!</p><p></p><p> I do have faith that things will work out. It will take time, patience and a whole new way to respond to my grandchildren’s needs. I am blessed to have them with me, although it is hard at times, I pray that they will realize there is much more to life than what they have endured.</p><p></p><p></p><p>It would be so sweet to be near physically. I do feel that as we write out our deepest thoughts and reply to one another, we develop a closeness that transcends the miles apart.</p><p>I understand completely the need to keep in mind that our grands are unique individuals. It’s those instances, a laugh, a profile, facial expression, I can see their parents so clearly. My hope is that my grands will take their <em>positive</em> traits and travel a path to their true potential. I have to see my role as not only providing a safe home, but as guiding them along the way. I do have to watch myself, the anxiety that can well up while they struggle to heal and misstep. Although they are minors I have no control over their choices, I can’t be with them 24/7. They need to figure out what they want out of life and grab it.</p><p></p><p> Thank you for sharing this, ChickPea. I have allowed myself those moments, because it has been a major life change for me. I understand your hesitation on examining those feelings, focusing on the blessings, because in both of our circumstances, <em>not</em> having our grands could mean a very harsh life for them. I am hoping that I can still do some of the things on my bucket list when the kids are more stable.</p><p></p><p> Neither did I think I would have my three in my care. My youngest just graduated high school. I had grand thoughts of what I would do in my spare time. But I must admit, I had a bit of the empty nest feels.</p><p></p><p> Yes, there are small joys to be found. My Mom encourages me, but also lamented that it’s not fair. “It’s life Mom, and these are my grandchildren, they need love and stability.” She spent 10 years caring for my Nana, then for my Dad through his illnesses until he passed, shortly after was diagnosed with lung cancer. Talk about not fair. We have all kinds of challenges to surmount in life. You are right, this is where we are. I feel as if I have been grieving for a long time. The loss of two daughters, living, but hooked on meth, my dad and hubs death, moms illness. My grands are helping me to refocus. Though we are going through rough patches, they are incredibly resilient considering all they have witnessed in their young lives.</p><p></p><p> This. Reframing purpose and meaning. How to move forward with what cards we are dealt? There is really not much time for me to grieve over what might have been, with the business of my current life. I remind myself that this is a chance for my grands to seek their possibilities. That they have a better chance to choose what they want their lives to be.</p><p></p><p> Please don’t apologize ChickPea, what you have shared is valuable in so many ways. Thank you for taking the precious time to respond. Much love back and may God continue to bless you on this journey.</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 752971, member: 19522"] Hello there Kalahou, yes indeed you are my neighbor. It’s been awhile dear friend, thank you for your kind words. The same goes to you dear sister. I hope all is well. It is so nice to “see” you! I do have faith that things will work out. It will take time, patience and a whole new way to respond to my grandchildren’s needs. I am blessed to have them with me, although it is hard at times, I pray that they will realize there is much more to life than what they have endured. It would be so sweet to be near physically. I do feel that as we write out our deepest thoughts and reply to one another, we develop a closeness that transcends the miles apart. I understand completely the need to keep in mind that our grands are unique individuals. It’s those instances, a laugh, a profile, facial expression, I can see their parents so clearly. My hope is that my grands will take their [I]positive[/I] traits and travel a path to their true potential. I have to see my role as not only providing a safe home, but as guiding them along the way. I do have to watch myself, the anxiety that can well up while they struggle to heal and misstep. Although they are minors I have no control over their choices, I can’t be with them 24/7. They need to figure out what they want out of life and grab it. Thank you for sharing this, ChickPea. I have allowed myself those moments, because it has been a major life change for me. I understand your hesitation on examining those feelings, focusing on the blessings, because in both of our circumstances, [I]not[/I] having our grands could mean a very harsh life for them. I am hoping that I can still do some of the things on my bucket list when the kids are more stable. Neither did I think I would have my three in my care. My youngest just graduated high school. I had grand thoughts of what I would do in my spare time. But I must admit, I had a bit of the empty nest feels. Yes, there are small joys to be found. My Mom encourages me, but also lamented that it’s not fair. “It’s life Mom, and these are my grandchildren, they need love and stability.” She spent 10 years caring for my Nana, then for my Dad through his illnesses until he passed, shortly after was diagnosed with lung cancer. Talk about not fair. We have all kinds of challenges to surmount in life. You are right, this is where we are. I feel as if I have been grieving for a long time. The loss of two daughters, living, but hooked on meth, my dad and hubs death, moms illness. My grands are helping me to refocus. Though we are going through rough patches, they are incredibly resilient considering all they have witnessed in their young lives. This. Reframing purpose and meaning. How to move forward with what cards we are dealt? There is really not much time for me to grieve over what might have been, with the business of my current life. I remind myself that this is a chance for my grands to seek their possibilities. That they have a better chance to choose what they want their lives to be. Please don’t apologize ChickPea, what you have shared is valuable in so many ways. Thank you for taking the precious time to respond. Much love back and may God continue to bless you on this journey. (((Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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