And the past rears its ugly head - again

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by RN0441, Oct 7, 2016.

  1. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    My son was offered a job at Publix pending a background check. We felt it all would be fine since he only had one thing on his record from when he took our car without our permission for a few hours and we had him arrested, then did not finish his community service. Since the web site said they even hired non-aggressive felons and this was a misdemeanor at most we felt pretty good.

    Today we found out he did not get the job due to the background check.

    I called an attorney that others here at work have used for their sons - each with DUI's. He is out of town today but the secretary looked up my son's record. She saw an active warrant from 2015 from when my son got into a text fight with his ex girlfriend. He threatened to "kill" her but as he said he didn't really mean it. People say it all the time mom....etc. etc. He is smart but dumb at the same time. You can't put anything like that in writing!! He was drinking at the time.

    Also, we were told this was dropped because we had tried to have the local police pick him up at one time for that warrant when he was actively using. They said there was NO warrant. We even had them call us back etc. Son then said his ex had dropped the charges. So we all forgot about it.

    We're sure that is what it was. I am waiting for the attorney to call me back next week to see what can be done. In the meantime, son has to find a job that does not do background checks.

    I feel like I got punched in the stomach. Son sounded all sad and husband said we are as sad as you.
  2. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Ugh. Nearly all jobs do background checks these days because it's now so cheap. Companies basically sign up for the service and either get so many free checks per year, or pay a few bucks per check.

    What worries me is that a lot of property mgrs and landlords also do background checks these days, not just credit checks, so that could hurt him there as well.

    Having not rented in the USA in better than 30 years, I was stunned by how thoroughly I was checked out before I was able to get this apartment.
  3. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Right now he is subletting so he's okay with that but we are looking into what has to happen to clear his record.

    Meanwhile he has been told he needs to find a job that doesn't do background checks which should be fairly easy right now in a restaurant etc. since it's the busy season.

    It's easy to make mistakes but not easy to clean up the mistakes - which is what we have told him for years.

    We are landlords and do credit checks but have never done a criminal background check. So far no problems with that.
  4. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    All the apartments (all complexes, admittedly) that I looked at in the Milwaukee 'burbs were checking like this. It wasn't a racial thing either, as at least in this complex tenants are of a very diverse makeup.
  5. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Mind you, while i know that the complex rents to people of diverse ethnic and/or religious backgrounds, that's all I know.

    I do not know if people of other ethnic groups are charged more in rent/security or pet deposit, etc, or if they are put into apartments in poorer shape than the ones they put white tenants into.

    That would not surprise me as Milwaukee (the city) is the most segregated city in the entire USA, and Milwaukee County the most segregated county.
  6. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    Going North..that is sad. active warrant sucks...but not all jobs do thorough checks. Some just check if they have a criminal record...but maybe a seasonal job. Geez, I know a few professionals who have been to prison who have jobs.
  7. worried sick mother

    worried sick mother Active Member

    Well that just stinks!!! You're son is facing a consequence. I know you want to help him and he definitely needs his record clear but I think you need to make sure he's serious about this before you jump to his rescue. Let him know that you won't be hiring an attorney to clean up his mess if he gets in anymore trouble. The counselor told me that was part of my sons problem that I always took care of things and he never had any consequences. I don't mean to sound harsh , I'm by far the weakest on this forum when it comes to my son. I would want my sons record clean too. It's a blessing thats all he has on his record. I can't believe that kept him from getting the job. I'm so happy that you're son is doing so well and I want him to continue to succeed.
    • Friendly Friendly x 3
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • List
  8. ColleenB

    ColleenB Active Member

    It's so tough when past mistakes catch up to them! We hate to see it, but we know it's a matter of "I told you so" and can be tough to deal with!

    I wish when they try to start over it would all be clear sailing, but experience has taught us these tough lessons. Maybe it's a life lesson that will actually serve him well in the end.... make him realize that actions can have far reaching consequences?

    Sigh... I do however feel your frustration... hang in there!
    • Like Like x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
    • List
  9. Albatross

    Albatross Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear this, RN. I am hoping that somehow he can recover his upward momentum.
  10. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    People can find jobs even with past warrants and arrests. The women in my daughter's program have been able to find jobs but they may not be what he wants. They are often warehouse jobs or call center jobs that either don't do background checks or don't care. My daughter worked packing boxes in a warehouse for a couple of months before she found her current job and most of the people that worked there were in recovery and certainly did not have spotless backgrounds.

    She also worked in a call center while she lived in Florida that she really enjoyed working at. The owners were both in recovery and specifically hired others in recovery. It was a full time job that paid $11 an hour and she was very happy there. Then she relapsed and that was another job down the drain.

    That company is in Deerfield Beach. I don't know how far that would be from your son but I would be happy to PM you the name.

    I agree that I wouldn't rush in an help him clear his record. In fact, I am not sure you should do that at all. What will he learn from that? I think my therapist would say to let him find something else on his own and live with the consequences of his past behaviors.

  11. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Actually, 11 per hour is a really low wage for a call center job, unless it is extremely entry level. If he decides to go that route, have him market what skills he has, (computer, etc) and encourage him to develop computer hardware or software skills. If he can get into technical support, work his way up to tier II or level 2 support, he can actually make a decent living, assuming he can keep his mind on his work, his temper under control, and be willing to study near constantly to keep up with technology. It is also a very high pressure job, as is nearly all call center work.
  12. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    It was an entry level customer service position where she had to placate irate customers that were unhappy about the service the company was providing. $11 an hour was actually more than most other jobs in the area of Florida where she lived. She was very successful because she was a great manipulator and was able to talk people out of their complaints.

    Rather ironic, isn't it?

  13. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    LoL. Yeah.

    I had to do a lot of that as a call center supv years ago. I got the ones the agents on my team couldn't handle. Those calls were not the highlight of my day. Even when I was running a network ops center, the tech support folk used to hand off irate remote sales people that were having network issues to me because i had the "magic" touch and could get them settled down. Not to mention that if the "network boss" said we were down, we were DOWN!
  14. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    In my town EVERY landlord does a background check that includes a criminal check. It is inexpensive and the insurance companies they use require it. Even the landlords that rent slum level housing to students and only have a few houses or apartments are required to do these checks by their insurance companies.

    It is something to be expected. I think your son should take the lead on clearing these charges. It is one thing for you to find the attorney, but primary contact should be up to your son. If he wants this cleared up, it should be his responsibility, in my opinion.
  15. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Thanks for the advice ladies.

    We told him we are not doing anything to clear this up right now. I talked to an attorney Friday and he said he would have to come home and turn himself in, get bonded and if ex did not come to court it would be thrown out. Attorney would charge $1500 for that. UGH.

    We told him to get a job there that does not do background checks for now. He starts school in January. We are going to let him take classes as his main focus and worry about the warrant later. We also will make him pay 1/2 of whatever is paid - that is the plan. He has to prove himself so he has a LONG way to go.

    We talked to him Saturday and the air conditioning at his apartment was out so he stayed with girlfriend. Also said his bedroom door doesn't shut all the way and dog goes in and has peed on his bed 2x now!

    Yesterday he told us that the air was fixed and the bedroom door was fixed so she couldn't get in there anymore. He really likes the dog but I think she is marking him as her own. LOL
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
    • List
  16. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    The bed=peeing is probably territorial, but if it hasn't been an issue before, AND she starts peeing somewhere else, I'd suggest he take her to the vet. Female dogs are just as prone to bladder infections as female humans are, and for the same reason.

    As regards the background checks, I don't know what to tell you. I asked my property mgr about them, and with the contract they have, they pay an annual fee (a huge one as they are a huge firm) which includes a certain number of checks. If they go over that amount, they pay a small fee for each add'l check. And yes, the insurance requires the checks be done.

    From what he said, doing background/criminal background checks is pretty universal these days, just as are credit checks.

    Jobwise, I don't know what to tell you. I had direct access to cash in a couple of very early jobs (cashier and fast food) and was "bonded" so had to pass criminal/background/ credit checks. Once I got into computers I had access to all sorts of stuff legitimately, and could've gotten into a whole lot more stuff, especially as time went on and I learned about network nuts and bolts and security.

    As a result, I underwent very intense checkouts, and yes, shortly after I lost the house, my job, and filed for bankruptcy, I was turned down for several jobs due to failing the credit check.

    The irony? At the time, I didn't have credit cards. It was all medical debt and my who department being outsourced to India.

    Your son, if he can get a couple of years of steady work at the same place, and a couple of years at the same address under his belt, and stay out of trouble, will find that the warrant, once settled and consequences dealt with, will hurt him less and less.

    Meanwhile, he's got to do his best. He's got a rough couple of years coming up. Would he be willing to learn a trade, say 18 mos of schooling, to make good money while he goes to college part time? Who knows,, he may find that he makes such good money as a skilled tradesman, and enjoys the work so, that he decides to do that instead.