And this is why I went straight to the court!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by keista, Jun 16, 2011.

  1. keista

    keista New Member

    So 3 1/2 years after he walked out, I finally found my "round tuit" and filed for divorce. I had filed all my paper, but husband had only filed a very lame answer that was actually accepted by the court ans an answer, so my dreams of a default went out the window.

    Anyway, when you file for divorce, the court issues a standing order against the removal of minor children from the state without written consent of both parents or the court. I was smart enough to go straight to the court for that permission.

    Today was the hearing, and I was surprised they let husband "appear" via phone. When the General Magistrate (GM) asked husband if he had any objections to the family vacation, husband said YES! I was so not surprised. What did surprise me was that husband continued to say that for the past 4 years he was allowed NO contact with the kids. (EXCUSE ME??????? Last year when we went on vacation, I contacted HIM and arranged for a visit as we passed through his state even though it was a 5 hour detour driving and added another day and hotel stay for us. I even arranged for a visit on the way back, too.) Well, the GM got on his case about it so I bit my tongue not to engage in the whole discussion. GM is allowing vacation! YAY!

    So, I was going to contact husband tonight to see if he wanted to see the kids, but that was BEFORE I knew he'd be at the hearing.

    But I still have two choices. Initiate the contact and allow the visit (it would be in a public place, so the issue I have with extended visits is a non issue) OR wait and see if he request a visit since he's had our itinerary for two weeks now. Still has not contacted me personally yet. Opinions?
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Let him contact you.

    Clearly he's one of those fathers (and I use the term loosely) that could care, but don't.

    If he wants to see the kids? Be open to it. But make it UP TO HIM.
  3. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Ditto Step. The onus is on him.

    Almost makes one wish you'd had a backup plan that you could say to the judge, "well, we were gonna stop by and see him, but we'll just have a staycation locally instead. Never mind..." lol (j/k)

    Jerk. Clearly, he's not in it for the benefit of the kiddos.
  4. keista

    keista New Member

    Thanks for the confirmation. I was thinking that way too.

    Shari I WAS going to say something like that to the judge, but he offered me no 'opening' do do so, so I just let him scold husband. lol

    The hard part is going to be to explain it to the kids. I'll figure something out.
  5. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Send him a certified return receipt letter with your itinerary. Make sure that you make note of the receipt number on your copy of the letter. There will be a record that he received the letter. If he doesn't respond, the court will recognize that it was his choice not to see the kids, end of story.
  6. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Good idea, witz!
  7. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I think that would be a good idea going forward, but I'm under the impression that the court already is aware that he has the itinerary since he "appeared" at court. I'm assuming Keista had to provide her plans to him prior to the court date. I could be wrong.
  8. keista

    keista New Member

    Shari, you got it right. Itinerary was sent out 2 weeks ago. I'm very good at the CYA game! ;)
  9. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    So now it is back on him...
  10. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I vote for leaving it on him. You did what you were supposed to do. Let the magistrate scold him again if necessary.

    And have a wonderful vacation!
  11. Star*

    Star* call 911

    I would follow Witz' advice literally to the letter.