Andre is in Jail (again)

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by ChefPaula1965, May 2, 2008.

  1. ChefPaula1965

    ChefPaula1965 Oh my aching back!!

    Good mornig,
    well it happened again!! Andre got arrested by the county in which he was staying... he is in a county jail in the youth courtyard...
    I have been informed that on Sunday morning he will be moved to the ADULT section of the jail.........
    His arrest was for Army desertion.... it finally caught up with him!!!! The sheriffs ofice is working with the Army right now to get Andre transported to Ft. Knox where he will have to "face the music" ... He seems to think that, since he is DFR, they will just give him a dishonorable discharge and send him "home"..
    The tricky part of this is that neither the Army nor the sheriffs ofice will escort him to the air port and make sure he actually goes to the airport and actually gets on the plane!!!!! :angry-very:
    IF he dsnt show up at Ft. Knox.. he will be court marshalled!!! :furious:
    With Andre's history of always running.....
    well, you see where I am going with this...
    THIS jail time I am very concerned because he will be put in general population jail...
    I know, I know, I need to let go and he is his own person and an adult now that he is (on sunday) ............. just having a hard time making my heart understand that!!!
  2. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I don't understand why Andre won't have an escort at the airport...seems kind of stupid when he's already been AWOL, and now they want him to go somewhere he doesn't want to go but won't make sure he gets there?

    So sorry you're dealing with all this.
  3. ChefPaula1965

    ChefPaula1965 Oh my aching back!!

    Well, Andre just called...
    the jail has now released him.. into the public....
    He told me he is at the airport..
    got a friend to take him.. he is boarding the plane in 45 mins... this is what he told me... fingers crossed that he will do what he says he is doing this time..
    says he may be sent to the brig for a while but he knows that he dsnt go to ft knox this time... he will face even more time in the brig and will be court marshalled... maybe this time he was "scared straight"....
    Hugs to all
  4. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Sending good vibes for you and Andre.

    Quick - find and print out the detachment 101 list. Read, re-read, read, re-read.

  5. ChefPaula1965

    ChefPaula1965 Oh my aching back!!

    I have read and reread many times.. it dsnt want to sink in..
    do you think that if I sleep with it under my pillow it will sink in by osmosis??
    I wish!
  6. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Prayers that he will get there and do what he has to do---odds are not in his favor---but hey, miracles do happen. Detach---detach--The serenity prayer is helpful when all else fails.
  7. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Yes...put it under your pillow. Then, put your hands together and hold them up over your head and pray for ANY higher help.

    My thoughts are with you.

  8. LoneStar14

    LoneStar14 New Member

    I've been following your story and my prayers go out to you. I don't know if I could ever detach either. But I agree the serenity prayer is a great idea. I hope he does show up at Fort Knox. The dishonorable discharge will follow him for the rest of his life. Andre doesn't need to have a Court Martial following him also. He needs to take the time he'll be locked up for some reflection and maturing. You can't do that for him. He needs to do that by himself. You do need to detach yourself enough to let him stand and fall on his own. He made the decisions that got him to this point without you, he needs to pay the piper and straighten up without you. You can only be his parent and be there to support him and not bail him out, not his coach to tell him what to do or his lawyer. Its hard not to try to fix it for him as a parent. You're not going to be around forever to bail him out. Stay strong. Hugs out to you.
  9. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Saying one big long prayer that he follows thru and makes it all the way to ft knox.

    I wonder if this "no escort" business is to give him a 2nd change to do what is right? Cuz otherwise it sounds utterly idiotic to me to just send someone who you've just arrested for being awol out on his own to a place where they're going to punish him.

    Sending huge ((((hugs)))) your way. And I hope he calls you when he arrives.
  10. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Ah, hon, you must be plain worn out. I don't know anything about the army's justice system, and little about jails anywhere. I don't imagine that it will be easy for him, or for you. But, he will be eating and warm and dry. He won't be in Afghanistan or Iraq. You have to remind yourself that even if you wanted to, there's nothing you can do to help him right now. Just love him.

    Take a breath, and know that he will be safe for today. He'll let you know when he has news for you. When you can't do anything about it, it's better to wait than to worry.
  11. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Oh, Hon, I am sorry. I know this is hurting your mommy heart. I think putting the Serenity Prayer and the detachment 101 list under the pillow is great. You will think about it as you go to sleep! (I put things I am having a hard time with taped up on the bathroom walls. It worked in college for math formulas and things, and it really helps now - I am a "captive" audience several times a day! LOL!!! But it does help.)

    I don't know what the Army is thinking, wanting him to go back on his own?? It doesn't make sense, but if he follows through and goes back on his own, maybe it will help him.

    I hope all this stress doesn't make the physical problems harder on you. Remember to take care of yourself!!

    Sending hugs,

  12. LoneStar14

    LoneStar14 New Member

    I can't remember why Andre went AWOL. Can you refresh my memory? The military is not going to go out of its way to ensure Andre shows up where he's suppose to. They figure that he'll eventually resurface and they'll get him then and add those charges to what they have on him already.

    I do know about the military justice system (fortunately not by being part of it). They don't mess around much. They can't afford to.

    I also don't have Andre's past history, but considering he's a difficult child I can only imagine. My question is why did sign him up. That may be his only saving grace. The recruiter should have probably never signed him up. Once he has a lawyer, his lawyer needs to have as much knowledge about his GFGness to help him out.
  13. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Aw Paula.

    Hugs for your Mommy heart.

    Practice detaching the best you can. I will say some mighty prayers that he does the right thing.
  14. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Lonestar's right. If he was on medications prior to being inducted or had a written diagnosis, it can make a difference between a dishonorable or just a general (under honorable conditions) or other than honorable. If the recruiter knew of any conditions, it would also be factored in.

    However, if there is no court martial, I doubt that he would have an attorney. This is something you might want to look into. Maybe call his sergeant or CO and see if an attorney will be afforded Andre.

    At least he got himself to the airport and, hopefully, on the plane and to Ft. Knox. I doubt they will factor in that he came voluntarily -- the military really doesn't much care one way or the other. He shows up, great. They can get rid of him faster. He doesn't show up, it's just another charge on his record that will be taken care of when he is again caught.

    Good luck on detaching. I do a pretty job of it when I know mine is safe, but if I don't know, like when Andre on was on the run or not knowing what will happen when she gets herself into trouble, then I'm like you -- trying to find her, trying to get answers, trying to save my child from herself. I think it goes with being a mom.
  15. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Sorry for the mess, it's his making.......I can only say try to detach and I am still in disbelief that they even provide transportation back......figured they would just keep in jail and cut him loose when they are convinced he served enough time...
    Unfortunately wisdom doesn't naturally arrive at age 18......practice detachment.....his life, his choices, big boy time.......good luck and thinking of YOU....