ThreeShadows
Quid me anxia?
SRL
Annual Tears, Jeers, & Grumbles Mother Day Thread
- Thread starter SRL
- Start date
SRL
JJJ
Active Member
Even years after resigning myself to infertility and more than 10 years after becoming a mom via adoption, today is the day I mourn my children never born, the mother I never got to be, and the mother I had to become.
No one else understands why this is never a happy day for me. Thank you for understanding.
No one else understands why this is never a happy day for me. Thank you for understanding.
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
Well, Billy came home last night at around 9:30 and gave me a Snuggly and a 3 pound bag of peanut M&M's. Now, the M&M's are great but a Snuggly when it was 90 yesterday? I think it was on sale at Dollar General...lol.
We shall see what anyone else does.
My dad sent me a wonderful card. I cried when I read it. It said:
Daughter, Seems like it was yesterday when I first held you in my arms and wondered what the future held for you....
The years have been filled with blessings-
especially watching you raise a family of your own.
Your doing an incredible job as a mom.
And I see the same sense of purpose and tenderness
in your eyes that I felt for you from the very beginning...
and always will.
Happy Mothers Day.
Love Dad.
We shall see what anyone else does.
My dad sent me a wonderful card. I cried when I read it. It said:
Daughter, Seems like it was yesterday when I first held you in my arms and wondered what the future held for you....
The years have been filled with blessings-
especially watching you raise a family of your own.
Your doing an incredible job as a mom.
And I see the same sense of purpose and tenderness
in your eyes that I felt for you from the very beginning...
and always will.
Happy Mothers Day.
Love Dad.
mstang67chic
Going Green
Let's see....Positives for today:
Got quite a few Happy Mother's Day texts, got a bag of double dipped malted milk balls, got a new purse, was taken to lunch.
The reality of the day?
None of the texts were from difficult child...he took off this morning before I even got up. I'm sure that he has no idea that it's even Mother's Day. I picked out the malted milk balls and the purse. Before lunch, I commented on how my turtle neck accentuated my double chin. (I've been having issues with fluid retention and swelling in addition to weight gain). husband looks at me and says "I don't think that's all swelling". Gee...thanks for pointing that out.....I had no idea.
Then at lunch (we went with husband's sister) we got a table that was half table and half booth. husband sat on the booth side and was sqiushed. I said that I would sit on that side and he said that "You're going to have just as hard of a time fitting in here as I am".
Really? How about I take that shovel away from you that you're using to dig that hole and whap you upside the head with it???
Happy @#$%$^%&*$#$#$ Mother's Day.
Got quite a few Happy Mother's Day texts, got a bag of double dipped malted milk balls, got a new purse, was taken to lunch.
The reality of the day?
None of the texts were from difficult child...he took off this morning before I even got up. I'm sure that he has no idea that it's even Mother's Day. I picked out the malted milk balls and the purse. Before lunch, I commented on how my turtle neck accentuated my double chin. (I've been having issues with fluid retention and swelling in addition to weight gain). husband looks at me and says "I don't think that's all swelling". Gee...thanks for pointing that out.....I had no idea.
Then at lunch (we went with husband's sister) we got a table that was half table and half booth. husband sat on the booth side and was sqiushed. I said that I would sit on that side and he said that "You're going to have just as hard of a time fitting in here as I am". Really? How about I take that shovel away from you that you're using to dig that hole and whap you upside the head with it???
Happy @#$%$^%&*$#$#$ Mother's Day.
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witzend
Well-Known Member
Still a quiet day at the Witzend home. The dogs were up at 5:45 ready to eat after my having listened to hubby snore until 3 AM. husband is passed out on muscle relaxers for his back. I can't stain the deck until this evening because it's sunny out. I'll have to hope that it doesn't switch straight to thunderstorm mode. I may be able to clean out my file cabinets and put them into the new set that I bought.
I haven't heard from the kids. In total, that doesn't bother me. What does bother me is that L saw my brother in Florida last week, and probably saw others in my family this week, so given that I haven't heard from her at all means that whatever story they might have told her about me were probably eaten up like desert. It does bother me she is so ready to think I'm not a good person - and that anything between my siblings and I has anything to do with her.
I haven't heard from the kids. In total, that doesn't bother me. What does bother me is that L saw my brother in Florida last week, and probably saw others in my family this week, so given that I haven't heard from her at all means that whatever story they might have told her about me were probably eaten up like desert. It does bother me she is so ready to think I'm not a good person - and that anything between my siblings and I has anything to do with her.
The good: easy child met husband and me at our favorite Italian restaurant for lunch. She brought a funny card that brought a smile to my face. We had a lovely lunch and then she went back off to school.
The bad: I was missing one of my daughters on Mother's day.
The ugly: Said difficult child daughter called after we got back and had the nerve to call husband from her blocked number and ask if we were going out to a restaurant for Mother's day. He told her that we had already gone and she asked why she wasn't invited. husband pointed out that she had changed her number and blocked it so we couldn't see it even if we had wanted to call. Oh, and mom was wearing the new jeans she had to buy because you (difficult child) had stolen her clothes when you left home and won't give them back. Maybe that's what you (difficult child) weren't invited to our Mother's day lunch.
Oh, and I bought myself a nice watch for Mother's day. Ever since I saw The Blind Side I have wanted a watch like Sandra Bullock wore in the movie. She wore it because it is the same watch that the real adoptive mom wears in real-life. The real thing is around $500 but I saw a nice Fossil watch that looks just like it in a local department store that costs a lot less. I searched the Internet and found it $30 cheaper than the department store and decided I deserved it for Mother's day. LOL I am still waiting for it to get here but I took a picture to show easy child and told her that she had gotten it for me for Mother's day. She laughed and said that she had very good taste.
~Kathy
The bad: I was missing one of my daughters on Mother's day.
The ugly: Said difficult child daughter called after we got back and had the nerve to call husband from her blocked number and ask if we were going out to a restaurant for Mother's day. He told her that we had already gone and she asked why she wasn't invited. husband pointed out that she had changed her number and blocked it so we couldn't see it even if we had wanted to call. Oh, and mom was wearing the new jeans she had to buy because you (difficult child) had stolen her clothes when you left home and won't give them back. Maybe that's what you (difficult child) weren't invited to our Mother's day lunch.
Oh, and I bought myself a nice watch for Mother's day. Ever since I saw The Blind Side I have wanted a watch like Sandra Bullock wore in the movie. She wore it because it is the same watch that the real adoptive mom wears in real-life. The real thing is around $500 but I saw a nice Fossil watch that looks just like it in a local department store that costs a lot less. I searched the Internet and found it $30 cheaper than the department store and decided I deserved it for Mother's day. LOL I am still waiting for it to get here but I took a picture to show easy child and told her that she had gotten it for me for Mother's day. She laughed and said that she had very good taste.
~Kathy
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PonyGirl
Warrior Parent
Well this morning I was greeted with a beautiful daisy plant, dark chocolate m&m's, and a card from husband. Nice 
easy child ran in & grabbed a quick shower, gave me a big hug & "Happy Mothers' Day" on his way back out the door, and difficult child called me from the road to wish me Happy Day.
Mothers' Day is hard for me because I miss my own mom. This year is double-tough because it marks the 1 year anniversary of the loss of our beloved black lab Shadow.
I wll bring rose petals out to the cabin to honor my mother this afternoon. I will play with our new yellow lab puppy Mahli.
Right now we're sitting here relaxing with afternoon coffee while we jam Jethro Tull on The 101 (Direct TV)
Last night I celebrated with difficult child at his band's debut, a show with 4 other bands at the VFW an hour's drive from home. "Faded Descent" plays nasty melt-your-face-off heavy metal, but what the heck. I found myself involuntarily banging my head, and spontaneously screaming (yes, in fright!) Here is a few snippets of conversation I enjoyed during the breaks in between bands:
One young man made a strange noise after the song was done, and when I turned around he told me, "I can make the best cow noises" and I replied, "Well, that's a good talent to have." Another young man, after difficult child introduced me as his mother, said, "This is your mom?!" "Yep." The young man said, "Hmmmmm.....Wow." I took that as a compliment.....
Peace
easy child ran in & grabbed a quick shower, gave me a big hug & "Happy Mothers' Day" on his way back out the door, and difficult child called me from the road to wish me Happy Day.Mothers' Day is hard for me because I miss my own mom. This year is double-tough because it marks the 1 year anniversary of the loss of our beloved black lab Shadow.
I wll bring rose petals out to the cabin to honor my mother this afternoon. I will play with our new yellow lab puppy Mahli.
Right now we're sitting here relaxing with afternoon coffee while we jam Jethro Tull on The 101 (Direct TV)
Last night I celebrated with difficult child at his band's debut, a show with 4 other bands at the VFW an hour's drive from home. "Faded Descent" plays nasty melt-your-face-off heavy metal, but what the heck. I found myself involuntarily banging my head, and spontaneously screaming (yes, in fright!) Here is a few snippets of conversation I enjoyed during the breaks in between bands:One young man made a strange noise after the song was done, and when I turned around he told me, "I can make the best cow noises" and I replied, "Well, that's a good talent to have." Another young man, after difficult child introduced me as his mother, said, "This is your mom?!" "Yep." The young man said, "Hmmmmm.....Wow." I took that as a compliment.....
Peace
N
Nomad
Guest
First of all, HUGS to everyone here.
The good: My husband went all out and bought me two lovely, really NICE presents.
ALSO, our easy child son had to go out of town but came back in time to go out to dinner with- us and we are leaving for that soon...a very nice/yummy restaurant.
The bad: difficult child daughter is not joining us. She was not invited. The reasons are too many to list; but mostly because her behavior has been too erratic of late.
It is a feeling of loss, but I try HARD to concentrate on the positives and am certainly grateful for them.
The good: My husband went all out and bought me two lovely, really NICE presents.
ALSO, our easy child son had to go out of town but came back in time to go out to dinner with- us and we are leaving for that soon...a very nice/yummy restaurant.
The bad: difficult child daughter is not joining us. She was not invited. The reasons are too many to list; but mostly because her behavior has been too erratic of late.
It is a feeling of loss, but I try HARD to concentrate on the positives and am certainly grateful for them.
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flutterby
Fly away!
easy child, who can barely talk to me without attitude these days, comes into my room while I'm sleeping and shouts, "MOM!". I jerk awake, heart racing, and he says, "Happy Mother's Day". My response? You woke me up for that? "I have to go to work and wanted to tell you." Me: "You could have written it down."
Sooooo...that tells you the frame of mind I'm in.
HIS fiance sent me an ecard and baked some cupcakes and muffins (I'm not a big cake eater) and set them up on the table with a big pink "sign" that reads, "Happy Mother's Day". While she made her mother a lovely scrapbook. Her mom - the one who verbally and mentally abused her for years and the one who she can't trust. The reason she moved in a year ago.
Anyway....
I haven't seen difficult child today. I guess that's not all bad.
My mom is working today or I'd be spending the day with her.
Sooooo...that tells you the frame of mind I'm in.
HIS fiance sent me an ecard and baked some cupcakes and muffins (I'm not a big cake eater) and set them up on the table with a big pink "sign" that reads, "Happy Mother's Day". While she made her mother a lovely scrapbook. Her mom - the one who verbally and mentally abused her for years and the one who she can't trust. The reason she moved in a year ago.
Anyway....
I haven't seen difficult child today. I guess that's not all bad.
My mom is working today or I'd be spending the day with her.
I
indeeptrouble
Guest
It's been pretty good here.
Quiet - no meltdowns so far. I tread quietly to prevent those.
husband is at work, so that helps too.
daughter's best friend just texted me a Happy Mother's Day so I got to hear it once, anyway.
And my parents stopped by and also wished me Happy Mother's Day.
Mom and I don't have a really good relationship - I went to her when I was 5 or 6 the first time to tell her about s3xual abuse that was going on at the hands of my cousin. She did nothing. I told her again several more times when I was a teen. Nothing. I'm cordial to her, but she's never been a very good Mother. I actually found out about the fact I told her the first time at age 5 or 6 last Mother's Day. I took her out to eat and she told me then and apologized for not doing anything. Maybe that's why this Mother's Day is so difficult for me. I don't want the reminder of what happened last year. I didn't remember any of the abuse starting that early.
Quiet - no meltdowns so far. I tread quietly to prevent those.
husband is at work, so that helps too.
daughter's best friend just texted me a Happy Mother's Day so I got to hear it once, anyway.
And my parents stopped by and also wished me Happy Mother's Day.
Mom and I don't have a really good relationship - I went to her when I was 5 or 6 the first time to tell her about s3xual abuse that was going on at the hands of my cousin. She did nothing. I told her again several more times when I was a teen. Nothing. I'm cordial to her, but she's never been a very good Mother. I actually found out about the fact I told her the first time at age 5 or 6 last Mother's Day. I took her out to eat and she told me then and apologized for not doing anything. Maybe that's why this Mother's Day is so difficult for me. I don't want the reminder of what happened last year. I didn't remember any of the abuse starting that early.
busywend
Well-Known Member
Well, I have had my share of bad Mother's Day. This one was the best ever! difficult child did NOT give me ANY attitude - not even once!
She has been excited about her gift to me for 2 weeks now. She had to pick it up at noon today. It was a bouquet from Edible Arrangements - a dozen chocolate covered strawberries on stems. It was so fun to watch her excitement.
DF got me a cala lilly plant and a beautiful card.
She has been excited about her gift to me for 2 weeks now. She had to pick it up at noon today. It was a bouquet from Edible Arrangements - a dozen chocolate covered strawberries on stems. It was so fun to watch her excitement.
DF got me a cala lilly plant and a beautiful card.
Happy Mother's Day All! Hope everyone surviveed...
At my house....DS gave me a present that he'd worked on at school and went to great effort to keep it a secret from me. Very thoughtful!
Spent the day doing chores and yard work.
difficult child? Not so much as a "Happy Mother's Day" then nagged and whined all day that I needed to take her to the store or the library or SOMETHING because she was so bored....(not bored enough to help out with anything around the house, though).
Seems about right....
And hey--coulda been worse!
At my house....DS gave me a present that he'd worked on at school and went to great effort to keep it a secret from me.
Very thoughtful!Spent the day doing chores and yard work.
difficult child? Not so much as a "Happy Mother's Day" then nagged and whined all day that I needed to take her to the store or the library or SOMETHING because she was so bored....(not bored enough to help out with anything around the house, though).
Seems about right....
And hey--coulda been worse!
Diva says to me at lunch, "boyfriend says to tell you Happy Mother's Day!" I didn't ask if that was from him or from her because I am very sure it is from him. He is a good kid. Sigh - still Diva I guess but that is o.k. she will come around!
difficult child said "D called to say Happy Mother's Day! And by the way, Happy Mother's Day!" (D is the neighbor girl who is like my middle child - older than difficult child and younger than Diva)
difficult child said "D called to say Happy Mother's Day! And by the way, Happy Mother's Day!" (D is the neighbor girl who is like my middle child - older than difficult child and younger than Diva)
crazymama30
Active Member
The good--husband picked me out a very sweet card, it was waiting for me on my laptop when I got up this mornng. easy child and difficult child did their chores.
The bad---I had to leave work early as husband was really sick and the kiddos were scared. He had a high temp, his pain was really bad, and he was a bit delusional--due to the fever I think. I got him mellowed out and medicated and he is still sick, but better. So much for a relaxing day. difficult child keeps taking his daytrana patches off, and is super hyper and impulsive and loud. I made dinner, everyone got excited when I was talking about making chicken enchiladas so I made them. I am not feeling too special right now.
The bad---I had to leave work early as husband was really sick and the kiddos were scared. He had a high temp, his pain was really bad, and he was a bit delusional--due to the fever I think. I got him mellowed out and medicated and he is still sick, but better. So much for a relaxing day. difficult child keeps taking his daytrana patches off, and is super hyper and impulsive and loud. I made dinner, everyone got excited when I was talking about making chicken enchiladas so I made them. I am not feeling too special right now.
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
Cory and Mandy just squeaked in on the time limit by rushing in at the last minute with a funny card and a bouquet of flowers. Not too bad. Jamie called mid-day to tell me he had bought Billie a really nice ring so he didnt have any money to send me anything. Asked me what Tony got me. I pointedly replied...Tony isnt my child, he shouldnt get me anything, CHILDREN are supposed to honor their MOTHERS!
Brats!
Brats!
witzend
Well-Known Member
I'm glad you had a nice day!
Be sure to plant that Calla Lilly in the yard, they're beautiful and will come back every year! Mine are massive and I have the worst clay soil in the world!
witzend
Well-Known Member
husband slept through the day from the bad back and muscle relaxers. I went to the library, the bank, Target, and the grocery store. I came home and got back into my grungies and started staining the deck. The house was a mess! I'd done laundry and delicates were all over the table drying, I hadn't put away mail or stuff in ages, stuff from painting and staining is all over the kitchen. So, around 15% of the way into the staining I decide I need a sandwich and come in. husband wakes from his stupor enough to tell me that M is coming over. Great! Now I get to run around and clean up the mess so that there aren't a bunch of bras and panties on the kitchen table! I gulp down my sandwich and get back out to staining the deck, and M shows up an hour or so later. The clouds are rolling in, and eventually it starts to rain. So much for staining.
Luckily I bought some hamburger buns so that we could have dinner. I had to get husband up to at least keep M busy while I did what staining I still could. M took the dogs all for a walk and they seemed to like that. After dinner, M gave me his Nintendo DS 2.
OK - I can't say no, because I know that he wanted to give me something. And I love that commercial that has the brain power thing and I'd like to play that. So...
Then I drove M home to his house in the pouring down rain. The deck is about 2/3 stained, and only about half of that seems to be waterproofed. Never did hear from L.
So much for staining.Luckily I bought some hamburger buns so that we could have dinner. I had to get husband up to at least keep M busy while I did what staining I still could. M took the dogs all for a walk and they seemed to like that. After dinner, M gave me his Nintendo DS 2.
OK - I can't say no, because I know that he wanted to give me something. And I love that commercial that has the brain power thing and I'd like to play that. So... Then I drove M home to his house in the pouring down rain. The deck is about 2/3 stained, and only about half of that seems to be waterproofed. Never did hear from L.
gcvmom
Here we go again!
I got up and my three kids were already dressed, feeding themselves breakfast and had taken most of their medications! 
NOT because it was Mother's Day -- because husband was taking them to a 10:45am showing of Iron Man 2!!! They didn't wish me a happy Mother's Day until just before they left and I asked them to sign the card I'd bought for their grandmother. My mom drove up and we went to lunch and an arboretum and had a very nice afternoon together. I got home and left right away to go see Serenityprayer and her difficult child in the hospital. She'd been stuck inside all day, so she and I went to dinner alone (I called my family and said they could meet us there if they wanted to, but they opted to stay home -- just as well). She and I had a very nice visit. Then I went home and walked in the door to chaos -- difficult child 1 harrassing everyone because he never put his patch on today. easy child and difficult child 2 glued to video games. The sink full of dirty dishes. Food and dishes all over the diningroom table. husband didn't cook for anyone -- just let the kids fend for themselves on whatever they could scrounge in the fridge. Laundry was still sitting in the dryer and the washer. difficult child 2's PE clothes needed washing still. I got everyone's pm medications and sent them to bed, then easy child came out to announce that difficult child 1 had taken saltine crackers and crushed them up in her bed and all over her floor. So then I had to drag his butt out of his room (where he was working on homework he SAID was finished, but was not!) to vacuum up the mess. Then I started washing up the dishes and cleaning up, getting the laundry going again, taking the trash can out to the curb for tomorrow's pickup... grrrr! husband sent me flowers on Friday, but ya know what, I would have been happier with a more timely greeting and a card from my kids in the morning, and a little less mess to deal with when I got home!
I guess I am mostly disappointed that Mother's Day for me was not about enjoying time with my family. It was about enjoying time AWAY from my family.
NOT because it was Mother's Day -- because husband was taking them to a 10:45am showing of Iron Man 2!!! They didn't wish me a happy Mother's Day until just before they left and I asked them to sign the card I'd bought for their grandmother. My mom drove up and we went to lunch and an arboretum and had a very nice afternoon together. I got home and left right away to go see Serenityprayer and her difficult child in the hospital. She'd been stuck inside all day, so she and I went to dinner alone (I called my family and said they could meet us there if they wanted to, but they opted to stay home -- just as well). She and I had a very nice visit. Then I went home and walked in the door to chaos -- difficult child 1 harrassing everyone because he never put his patch on today. easy child and difficult child 2 glued to video games. The sink full of dirty dishes. Food and dishes all over the diningroom table. husband didn't cook for anyone -- just let the kids fend for themselves on whatever they could scrounge in the fridge. Laundry was still sitting in the dryer and the washer. difficult child 2's PE clothes needed washing still. I got everyone's pm medications and sent them to bed, then easy child came out to announce that difficult child 1 had taken saltine crackers and crushed them up in her bed and all over her floor. So then I had to drag his butt out of his room (where he was working on homework he SAID was finished, but was not!) to vacuum up the mess. Then I started washing up the dishes and cleaning up, getting the laundry going again, taking the trash can out to the curb for tomorrow's pickup... grrrr! husband sent me flowers on Friday, but ya know what, I would have been happier with a more timely greeting and a card from my kids in the morning, and a little less mess to deal with when I got home!I guess I am mostly disappointed that Mother's Day for me was not about enjoying time with my family. It was about enjoying time AWAY from my family.
flutterby
Fly away!
Ashlee came home later in the day with flowers for me from easy child. He worked in floral today and set aside certain flowers for me - the only ones they had of that kind. We had dinner together after he got off work (he actually came looking for me as soon as he got home! he *never* does that) and they are taking me out to dinner tomorrow (Monday) night. Something they've never done before.
difficult child never acknowledged the day, which I expected. However, she mentioned the cake several times and you couldn't miss the "Happy Mother's Day" sign on the table next to them and that bothered me. She did, however, complain several times of being bored, of not feeling good, and then spent some time this evening obsessing and catastrophizing, and then obsessing over something else and wanting me to do about 5 different things within about 2.5 seconds. None of which I did.
I've been having heart issues for over a week so I haven't been feeling well, and I haven't been able to keep my blood sugar under control for the last 2 days (hypoglycemic - low blood sugar) so I really don't feel good today. Other than that, I'd say the day turned out better than I thought. It just took until about 8pm for it to happen.
difficult child never acknowledged the day, which I expected. However, she mentioned the cake several times and you couldn't miss the "Happy Mother's Day" sign on the table next to them and that bothered me. She did, however, complain several times of being bored, of not feeling good, and then spent some time this evening obsessing and catastrophizing, and then obsessing over something else and wanting me to do about 5 different things within about 2.5 seconds. None of which I did.
I've been having heart issues for over a week so I haven't been feeling well, and I haven't been able to keep my blood sugar under control for the last 2 days (hypoglycemic - low blood sugar) so I really don't feel good today. Other than that, I'd say the day turned out better than I thought. It just took until about 8pm for it to happen.
