Another day, another crisis

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by muttmeister, Jan 6, 2008.

  1. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    Just when I thought difficult child#2 and wife might be getting ready for a peaceful few weeks....
    They were fighting on Thursday. She brought the kids to my house. I noticed she had a bruise by her eye. I asked her about it because difficult child has, in spite of his bad temper, been very careful never to do anything physical to her. That just isn't his way. Anyway, she said they were arguing and he tried to push her out of the beed and they were scuffling and his elbow hit her by accident. OK, that sounds about right.
    So they calmed down and went back home and things were not so bad. Then Friday he came and said he was ready to get a divorce as she was jerking him around - put a lock on their cell phone so he couldn't read the messages, etc. This after all of the other drama where I think she was trying to make him jealous although I doubt if she was really doing anything wrong.
    Anyway, difficult child and his wife's brother (who lives with them) went out Friday night with one of difficult child's friends. They saw the cops at difficult child's house and wondered what was going on. She told them that difficult child had hit her and left a bruise. So of course they arrested him. He was drinking beer so he also got cited for Minor in Consumption plus he had a small amount of marijuana (in this state only a misdemeanor) so they also got him for that. They took him to jail Friday night and said we could bail him out on Saturday but when Saturday came they refused to set bail so he is still there. In the mean time she filled out the police report and said that the bruise was the result of an accident, and that he did not hit her but that has made no difference, He will appear in court on Tuesday.
    In the past when one of my kids got in trouble we have used a court appointed attorney but I think this time I am going to call my lawyer. Of course this had to happen on the weekend so it is impossible to find out much. I do think that this is a small town and the cops know difficult child and are trying to railroad him into whatever they can. And I really don't see how they can keep him locked up for four days when none of the 3 charges is a jailable offence. So I guess a lawyer is called for.
    I'm pretty sure this will be the start of their divorce but I don't blame him. I don't see how anybody can live with all of this drama. It's driving me nuts. :hammer: She did say she's willing to go for counseling and to the medical doctor to see if she can get medication to help her straighten out as I think she is bipolar but it is probably too little, too late. I'll try to update you all after court on Tuesday.
    What a mess! :smile:
  2. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Nan, I think in most states (if not all) they do jail for domestic violence. They don't take any chances anymore. Even if she recanted the charge I guess it doesn't surprise me that they've kept him.

  3. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Sending positive thoughts!!
  4. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    In Ohio, the victim of domestic violence can't drop the charges. Once charges are filed, it will be prosecuted. They got tired of so many women changing their minds. The woman can still talk to the judge on behalf of the defendant, but it's dicey.

    My ex was arrested 4 days before I was moving out for domestic violence and aggravated menacing. There were no visible bruises and it's not that I wanted to drop the charges..he was planning on moving back to Georgia and I didn't want to do anything that was going to stop that. I wanted him gone. The prosecutor told me that once the charges are filed it becomes the state's case and is out of the (alleged) victim's hands.
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    This is also true in many of the other states, too. And they aren't going to believe her when she says it was an accident. Too many abused women recant their stories later.

    As for it "being too little too late" if she sees a doctor and therapist....Well, only time can tell on that one. But you might want to mention to difficult child that even if she really makes the effort it may be awhile before she becomes stable.

    Too right, what a mess.