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Substance Abuse
Another day.... another promise?
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<blockquote data-quote="ColleenB" data-source="post: 711433" data-attributes="member: 19887"><p>He did call for an appointment, and is booked with a recommended counsellor on Wednesday . We are not naive and know this is only a tiny step... but for him This is the first time he has expressed a desire to see someone.</p><p></p><p>He says his days and nights are mixed up and he can't switch back... he asked for one of my sleeping pills. I told him no, that I couldn't do that. I told him we can help him, to slowly change his time for getting up, but that he would need to start right away in order for him to be awake wed in morning. He at first didn't want to start until Monday. I told him why wait? If he really wants to switch his sleep times?</p><p></p><p>I am not sure what is up with him. I don't see the behaviours he had when he was using cocaine, he was very angry and volatile. But I know the up most nights is not ok. He has stayed home a few nights lately.... but he gets really restless.</p><p></p><p>Some context... we live in the "suburbs" and there really is no where to go at all during the day with no daytime bus service into town. He has also ALWAYS been a restless kid, he never stayed home, he was always biking, playing sports, visiting friends. He was a super active kid, and I always suspected ADHD, but since he was a strong student academically and never got into any trouble, I figured he had it all figured out. My sister and mom had ADHD. My sister was very similar, and channelled the energy into sports and is now a vet. So I never had any reason to have him evaluated. I wonder if the ADHD could've been part of his issue with losing structure after high school and having so little impulse control? I have brought it up and he says ADHD is "made up" and over diagnosed. I see kids everyday in schools and I know it's not made up but I do agree it's over diagnosed and over medicated.</p><p></p><p>He really is a sensitive soul who feels emotions deeply, he always has. When he was little I once found him crying over a world vision commercial ( he was five!) when he was in middle school he was my environmentalist who would worry about recycling and killing the earth. He has now become cynical and sees the human race as evil and destroying our planet with no chance of redemption. I wonder if his cynicism is part of his issue, he seems to have lost hope in humanity or our future. He is very disdainful of the "establishment" and materialism. I used to call him my "hippy". He reminds me of a teenager from the 70s. He would have fit right in.</p><p></p><p>I know it doesn't change the things he has done, or his drug use... I'm just trying to give you all a bigger picture.</p><p></p><p>It's so hard to watch him sink so low and feel so terrible about himself. He has so much self loathing.</p><p></p><p>We are careful to project forward with him and not backward. I'm scared I'm going to lose my son to suicide at some point. He sees himself as worthless. This is why we are so scared and tip toe around him. He once told me he was only still alive because of us, and it was not s threat. He stated it as fact.</p><p></p><p>He said to try and wake him up today, we will see how that goes.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ColleenB, post: 711433, member: 19887"] He did call for an appointment, and is booked with a recommended counsellor on Wednesday . We are not naive and know this is only a tiny step... but for him This is the first time he has expressed a desire to see someone. He says his days and nights are mixed up and he can't switch back... he asked for one of my sleeping pills. I told him no, that I couldn't do that. I told him we can help him, to slowly change his time for getting up, but that he would need to start right away in order for him to be awake wed in morning. He at first didn't want to start until Monday. I told him why wait? If he really wants to switch his sleep times? I am not sure what is up with him. I don't see the behaviours he had when he was using cocaine, he was very angry and volatile. But I know the up most nights is not ok. He has stayed home a few nights lately.... but he gets really restless. Some context... we live in the "suburbs" and there really is no where to go at all during the day with no daytime bus service into town. He has also ALWAYS been a restless kid, he never stayed home, he was always biking, playing sports, visiting friends. He was a super active kid, and I always suspected ADHD, but since he was a strong student academically and never got into any trouble, I figured he had it all figured out. My sister and mom had ADHD. My sister was very similar, and channelled the energy into sports and is now a vet. So I never had any reason to have him evaluated. I wonder if the ADHD could've been part of his issue with losing structure after high school and having so little impulse control? I have brought it up and he says ADHD is "made up" and over diagnosed. I see kids everyday in schools and I know it's not made up but I do agree it's over diagnosed and over medicated. He really is a sensitive soul who feels emotions deeply, he always has. When he was little I once found him crying over a world vision commercial ( he was five!) when he was in middle school he was my environmentalist who would worry about recycling and killing the earth. He has now become cynical and sees the human race as evil and destroying our planet with no chance of redemption. I wonder if his cynicism is part of his issue, he seems to have lost hope in humanity or our future. He is very disdainful of the "establishment" and materialism. I used to call him my "hippy". He reminds me of a teenager from the 70s. He would have fit right in. I know it doesn't change the things he has done, or his drug use... I'm just trying to give you all a bigger picture. It's so hard to watch him sink so low and feel so terrible about himself. He has so much self loathing. We are careful to project forward with him and not backward. I'm scared I'm going to lose my son to suicide at some point. He sees himself as worthless. This is why we are so scared and tip toe around him. He once told me he was only still alive because of us, and it was not s threat. He stated it as fact. He said to try and wake him up today, we will see how that goes. [/QUOTE]
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