another evaluation?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by crazymama30, Mar 8, 2009.

  1. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    difficult child has recently started seeing a therapist (about 3 mos ago). Not sure if it does anygood, but willing wait and see. I realize this is not a quick answer.

    therapist has not seen difficult child in his full glory. She gets him one on one, and he is always better then. She has only seen him when he is fairly controlled on medications. She has not seen the pressured speech, inability to sit still, and how he will argue just for the sake of arguing.

    The other day his daytrana patch got "wrinkled up" (difficult child speak for I scratched it but did not pull it off) so he was extremely hyper. He only showed the ADHD symptoms, not the mood symptoms. He argued with here, would not stop talking, would not let anyone else speak, and on the way out as she was talking he was playing catch with me with the car keys in the middle of the parking lot. He just threw the car keys at me. I had given them to him so he could go sit in the car and wait (he does that alot) but then he turned and threw them to me and yelled Catch. I was letting him get away with more than usual as I wanted her to see it. He is usually Mr. Perfect at her office.

    The whole time I am playing catch, she is telling me about a new psychiatrist in town that she is interested in having difficult child get a consult from. Guess he comes from UC Davis MIND institute and they specialize in neurodevelopmental disorders. I am not agains this and think it would be a good idea, but find it funny that she tells me this after she sees how difficult child is without his stimulant. Would she like to see him without stimulant or ms? He is doing the best he has ever done at school, only one office referral all year. He has not threatened to kill anyone, and has not been in one physical fight. He will tell you he does not want to get in trouble and be a bully. This from the kid who wanted to be a bully in 3rd grade cuz it was cool. This is the kid who had 8 office referrals in the same amt of time last year.

    I am taking difficult child's next appointment and have some questions for her. My main question is what would be gained by another evaluation? With husband being BiPolar (BP), the main concern tends to be a chaotic home life. Well, I know lots of kids who have 2 so called normal parents and have a more chaotic home life. Before husband was diagnosis'd and treated no one worried about it, and I can tell ya for sure home life was way way more chaotic then. Give someone a label and every thing changes.

    Thanks if you made it this far. For some reason this has been really bothering me, and I just needed to let it out.
  2. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I would agree with going to the apt alone next time.
    I would ask what her plan is? Why is it important, if he already has a diagnosis to get another evaluation. Unless she feels maybe him seeing a new psychiatrist in general would be better?
    Are there any problems with current psychiatrist?
    I would stand firm on the fact that he is stable, that he is so much better and that in you opinion it would be dangerous to unmedicate him.

    Our psychiatrist and I would think most others would not go for that. We are starting a whole round of Neuro-psychiatric evaluations this week, we had asked our psychiatrist about doing them un-medicated.
    She was VERY adamant that we not destabilize K, *just for testing*.

    Also I would have my claws out, if anyone implied that my having BiPolar (BP) or my husband having Depression made my kids life worse!
    I can go on and on about the things that make me a much better parent because of these things.
    I am so much more tuned in to K's episodes and why she is having a breakdown. I am able to actually feel her pain and understand her utter despair at times.
    As opposed to the attitude of some parents who take the attitude of, "Get over it, or just **** it up!"
    If a medical professional is at all educated then they would know the stats. The fact is, the % of families who are going to have a sibling or a parent with another or the same Disorder or very high.

    It doesn't make us bad parents, nor is it a surprise that we are good parents.

    Sorry to go off on a tangent but I keep reading on the board about how some of the Mom's keep getting treated like they are the problem.
    Just because someone has Mental Illness isn't the problem.
    If you are being proactive about your issues and getting help for your kid...

    If your husband is getting treatment and you and he are aware of the issues. That should be enough.
    My husband knows when I am not doing well. I am aware also. I go and see my psychiatrist.
    I try to shelter my kids from my issues as best I can.
    But even *normal* people have much worse issues than many of us with Mental Illness...

    Hang in there, I would make a list of everything that you have concerns about to the meeting.
    I would be worried also, though I am a worry wort!

    Hang in there, at least difficult child is doing well!!!
  3. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    We would not be changing psychiatrists, we would just be getting a consult. Sometimes I disagree with current psychiatrist, but at the same time he has been pretty helpful with a lot of things.

    I did tell therapist that I would let difficult child go without a daytrana patch for the day, but we are not stopping the Lamictal. Nope. No way.

    I am going to write down questions for therapist, one being what would we accomplish with the evaluation? Why does she think he needs it?
  4. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I agree with the not stopping the Lamictal.

    I have found after 3 therapist's now that husband and I seem to know more about the medications than them.
    At least as far as for kids and what works when and for what.
    Hang in there and don't let them push you around!
  5. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    My feeling is....I guess it wouldn't hurt to get another evaluation. Sounds like your therapist really wants to get to work with this new psychiatrist in town and get his expert opinion on your child's treatment. Why not? If your insurance will cover the cost of testing and it potentially means another expert on board...then go for it.

    Sounds like a good opportunity to me...

  6. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    I am going to go talk to her alone on Wednesday. I guess what I find kinda silly is that she seemed so taken aback by what she saw last session. He argued with her. This kid will argue with anyone. He does not care who you are. I am not against the evaluation, it took me by surprise. I do think it would be interesting as the new psychiatrist comes from a teaching hospital that specialized in autism and similiar disorders, and from what I see he could be considered to have Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) symptoms, but they are also symptoms that coincide with BiPolar (BP). If my insurance covers it (think they will) and if therapist has solid reasons then we will do it. difficult child will NOT go off his Lamictal, but I will skip the daytrana patch for a day or two (not many more or else he will drive us all crazy). I will also do it as long as therapist talked to psychiatrist and he is in agreement with it. I don't think he will disagree, but he may say he thinks that it won't tell us anything different.

    It does sound like a good oppurtunity, I know that. But for some reason it irritates me. This is not a logical feeling, and I know that. Feelings are not always logical. We see psychiatrist this week actually too, we see him on Tuesday and Wednesday I see difficult child's therapist.

    I think what is bothering me is difficult child has come so far, and I got too used to everyone telling me that. To have someone come along and point out how far he has yet to go is what is bothering me. To have someone point out how different he is than other boys his age(though I know this). I still have some hiccups I have to work thru.