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General Parenting
Another explosive tantrum
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<blockquote data-quote="pigless in VA" data-source="post: 682693" data-attributes="member: 11832"><p>Roxona, What exactly does "going to bed after dinner" mean at your house? If that means he got no screen time (tv, computer, games) and he had to stay in his room, then that is appropriate and reasonable. He may be mad about losing his privileges, but when you are disrespectful at school, oh well.</p><p></p><p>I think for younger children, misbehaviors at school should be handled at school. The time delay is what makes SS10 feel that everyone is out to get him and life is unfair. How often are the write-ups sent home about him? If they are infrequent, I can see giving him a consequence at home. If they happen weekly or more often, then SS10 is receiving double punishments so much that he feels he can't win. I think you don't want to be punishing him more for behaviors at school that are not within his control. You and your husband know him best. Does going to bed early help him behave better the next day?</p><p></p><p>It's tricky. I only had serious write-ups on Ferb a couple of times from the school. I typically had him write an apology letter to the teacher and other child if there were another child involved. The last time I had to do that was . . . last year. Ferb and his buddies were being disrespectful to a younger teacher. I gave the teacher permission to give Ferb a detention. Plus, I had Ferb write an apology letter and then checked to be certain the teacher received it. (I am so evil.) Ferb loved this teacher who quit and took a different job. That's what I call a natural consequence of teens behaving badly. </p><p></p><p>I have more to say about this negative attention loop, but I have to give Ferb a ride to class.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="pigless in VA, post: 682693, member: 11832"] Roxona, What exactly does "going to bed after dinner" mean at your house? If that means he got no screen time (tv, computer, games) and he had to stay in his room, then that is appropriate and reasonable. He may be mad about losing his privileges, but when you are disrespectful at school, oh well. I think for younger children, misbehaviors at school should be handled at school. The time delay is what makes SS10 feel that everyone is out to get him and life is unfair. How often are the write-ups sent home about him? If they are infrequent, I can see giving him a consequence at home. If they happen weekly or more often, then SS10 is receiving double punishments so much that he feels he can't win. I think you don't want to be punishing him more for behaviors at school that are not within his control. You and your husband know him best. Does going to bed early help him behave better the next day? It's tricky. I only had serious write-ups on Ferb a couple of times from the school. I typically had him write an apology letter to the teacher and other child if there were another child involved. The last time I had to do that was . . . last year. Ferb and his buddies were being disrespectful to a younger teacher. I gave the teacher permission to give Ferb a detention. Plus, I had Ferb write an apology letter and then checked to be certain the teacher received it. (I am so evil.) Ferb loved this teacher who quit and took a different job. That's what I call a natural consequence of teens behaving badly. I have more to say about this negative attention loop, but I have to give Ferb a ride to class. [/QUOTE]
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