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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 749799" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>How could I be offended? </p><p></p><p>While our children are on their own spiritual path, what I was referring to is our own spiritual paths. I don't believe I have any business interfering in my son's spiritual path (although I do, which is wrong of me). This is what I meant to speak to: That you and I focus on our own path. Which is another way of saying, to stay in our own lane. </p><p></p><p>Beta. I will be frank here. It is not from a critical place. It is because of the similarity between us that I recognize this. Your focus is on Josh. Still. As long as it stays on Josh you will feel angry, be reactive and feel powerless. </p><p></p><p>There is a process of retraining our focus, I believe. It is doable. </p><p></p><p>I think we stay focused on our errant children, as a means of defending against our pain. I think we fear how sad we would feel if we let go. I think the fear is unfounded. But I think we fear that the sadness would be unceasing. That is not true. I also think we hang onto the focus on them because we think we can control their illness. We would prefer to take the hits ourselves, than to surrender. There is the unconscious sense that if we hang on it will somehow make a difference. It won't. If it did, it would have worked for me, how much I have done it. It does not work. Believe me. I tried.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 749799, member: 18958"] How could I be offended? While our children are on their own spiritual path, what I was referring to is our own spiritual paths. I don't believe I have any business interfering in my son's spiritual path (although I do, which is wrong of me). This is what I meant to speak to: That you and I focus on our own path. Which is another way of saying, to stay in our own lane. Beta. I will be frank here. It is not from a critical place. It is because of the similarity between us that I recognize this. Your focus is on Josh. Still. As long as it stays on Josh you will feel angry, be reactive and feel powerless. There is a process of retraining our focus, I believe. It is doable. I think we stay focused on our errant children, as a means of defending against our pain. I think we fear how sad we would feel if we let go. I think the fear is unfounded. But I think we fear that the sadness would be unceasing. That is not true. I also think we hang onto the focus on them because we think we can control their illness. We would prefer to take the hits ourselves, than to surrender. There is the unconscious sense that if we hang on it will somehow make a difference. It won't. If it did, it would have worked for me, how much I have done it. It does not work. Believe me. I tried. [/QUOTE]
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