Another heroin death and this one is a heartbreaker - Update

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Nancy, Feb 13, 2012.

  1. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I know I talked about our family days while difficult child was in rehab and how emotionally draining they were. We became very close with the other families in our group and their difficult children. One girl in particular was there the whole time difficult child was and she was cute as a button and we became very friendly with her father who cried when she confessed she was shooting heroin and rubbed her arm where she showed him the marks. He was so supportive and was paying self pay because their insurance ran out and he said he would pay for as long as it took and he came every single sunday for the entire day long program. He was divorced from her mom who never came because she was a big enabler and for some reason didn't feel she should go.

    When difficult child left after 6o days she was still there and was having a hard time with cravings but finally did go home. She relapsed and went back to the center once that I know of but again left and tried to stay clean.

    difficult child just texted us and told us she died today from heroin. We are all shocked and very very sad. Of all the girls difficult child was in rehab with, she was the most like difficult child and the one we really wanted to see stay in recovery. We feel awful for her dad and her brother who so wanted her to get well and would have walked to the end of the earth if it would have helped.

    difficult child said the funeral is private because dad does not want her user druggie friends coming. I so understand that and just recently said the same thing if it should happen to us.

    When difficult child entered rehab they said that one of every three people in the room would end up dead from drugs/alcohol. I'm sure this girl didn't think it would be her. We now know so may from her rehab class that have died, but this one is the hardest to accept, it is so close to home. You can't go through that kind of experience with someone and not feel it deeply.

    I have to find some way to let the dad know how much we care.

    Last edited: Feb 16, 2012
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Oh, Nancy... :hugs: I don't know what to say but I've been following your posts... How awful.
  3. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    So, so sad.

    {{{{Hugs to you and difficult child}}}

  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    (((((hugs))))) I am so very sorry.
  5. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    Dear Nancy,
    I am so sorry for you and difficult child. This must be heart breaking. I hope you can get word to her family how much you care. ((Hugs)) and take care.
  6. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    That's awful. I'm so sorry. Hugs to your daughter who is probably in shock and hugs to you too. That poor Dad - my God.
  7. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Oh Nancy, I am so so sorry. I feel bad for her dad and family... gosh drugs are such an awful thing really.


  8. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Sometimes there is just too much sadness to absorb and then the sadness heightens our personal fears for the safety of our difficult child's. It's a vicious cycle. One of difficult child's former friends killed himself this week. He had a s.a. history that was extensive but had married, had a baby and a full time job. Now, he is dead at 25. It's all too sad. Sorry for your pain because I remember well bonding with certain people during the rehab was unique. DDD
  9. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Guest

    So very sad...prayers for all involved.
  10. dashcat

    dashcat Member

  11. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    As far as finding a way to get in touch with the Dad... check funeral home web sites in that area. Often they will post a "condolences" page, even if they do not post funeral details. OR, call the funeral homes, all you need to know is if they are the one dealing with this funeral, so you can send a card or whatever.
  12. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thanks insane but I already found him. It's not hard with facebook. I'm heartbroken for the family.

  13. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    I am so sorry for your loss and for the fear it places in your heart. I also am sorry for difficult child - way too much heartbreak for a young girl in such a short time. I hold you both close in my thoughts and prayers as well as this young person and her family. And I hope that if there is a silver lining in all of this loss - that the silver lining comes straight to you and your daughter. By God, you've earned it. (and I mean that in a heartfelt way)

    May God hold you all in the palm of His Hand.

    Life wasn't meant to be this hard.

    My love and thoughts are with you.
  14. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Oh Nancy, I am just so heart broken for you and her family and difficult child. I pray you never have to face this. Sending you support on this day to celebrate LOVE.
  15. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    It is our nightmare. Sad is such an understatement. Prayers out to the family. :(
  16. gottaloveem

    gottaloveem Active Member

    I'm so sorry. It is heartbreaking to lose a young kid especially one you felt close to. Her poor family. Sending hugs to you and your daughter too. (((HUGS)))
  17. Tiredof33

    Tiredof33 Active Member

    Such heartbreak for a family. Our pastor told me life isn't supposed to be easy, but this is too much for a family to bear. Yes, it does scare me, but it shows how much the drug controls for them to continue using.
  18. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    So very sad. MY thoughts are with her family at this terrible time. -RM
  19. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    What a terrible loss. I'm sorry for her and her family.
  20. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm having a difficult time getting past this. As more details come out I'm realizing how this so could have been my difficult child. They were good buddies in rehab. They were both the youngest ones in there, difficult child was 19 and she was 20. They both loved dressing in the latest fashions and the counselors laughed at them for that and called them her cherubs. They both had great family support on family day and came from similar upbringings.

    From what we have learned she has been in and out of rehab for the past year and a half since difficult child left. She was currently living in a sober house not far from the rehab center. It was suppose to be one of the best around. There are pictures all over facebook of the girls she made friends with.

    Her car was found on the side of a gas station building with two girls in it. The station attendant noticed it there at 5:30 pm when he came to work and never thought much about it, until he was leaving at 12:45 and it was still there and he called the police because he saw two girls in it unresponsive. By the time the police got there she was gone, probably had been dead all evening. The other girl was taken to the hospital and is stable. Both of the girls were living in the same sober house. They were both in pictures all over facebook together celebrating their friendship.

    And it just made it all the more real, that could have been difficult child. In fact I think that "B" thought our difficult child was worse off than she was. They were both fun loving, energetic, fashion loving young women with a substance abuse problem. One day she is here and the next she isn't. And yet her life remains on facebook for everyone to see. How sad.

    It makes me realize that even when they are in a sober house they are not safe.