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Substance Abuse
Another lost soul
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 633020" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Glad you found out. Sorry you had to. Yep. Very typical story...our difficult children who won't grow up/get sober/whatever and we, the parents, trying to forge ahead with life anyway. No point in worrying about your daughter non-stop because it won't change anything. If she quits, you'll know. Boy toy will be gone because drug users don't like to hang around sober people and sober people start to see drug users in a new and unflattering light. I have a daughter who did quit. She is living a fruitful life today. The biggest clue I had, because she didn't tell us (figuring we wouldn't believe her and not even being sure she could do it) was that she cut off contact with any drug users. She was living in another state with family there and did not, as she usually did, hook up with new drug users in that area. </p><p></p><p>Usually when our kids come around, until they are completely healed, they want something. Don't be surprised if Daughter is working up to hitting you up for money, which is the #1 thing they want. When they are drug abusers, it is often money for drugs, but they instead tell us "I just need to get ahead this month, I need rent money, I need a car (like they should be on the road), I need....." If you are not going to enable her, I suggest not giving her any money. If you want to help out, buy her what she says sh e needs or pay to the appropriate person. Just an experienced suggestion.</p><p></p><p>Therapy helps most of us through this. Sounds like you're heading in the right direction. Now it's time to start living your own life and moving on. Hopefully, her kids are safe. They suffer the consequences of drugged up parents. It's sad.</p><p></p><p>Hugs for your hurting mommy heart. We all are with you and you can do this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 633020, member: 1550"] Glad you found out. Sorry you had to. Yep. Very typical story...our difficult children who won't grow up/get sober/whatever and we, the parents, trying to forge ahead with life anyway. No point in worrying about your daughter non-stop because it won't change anything. If she quits, you'll know. Boy toy will be gone because drug users don't like to hang around sober people and sober people start to see drug users in a new and unflattering light. I have a daughter who did quit. She is living a fruitful life today. The biggest clue I had, because she didn't tell us (figuring we wouldn't believe her and not even being sure she could do it) was that she cut off contact with any drug users. She was living in another state with family there and did not, as she usually did, hook up with new drug users in that area. Usually when our kids come around, until they are completely healed, they want something. Don't be surprised if Daughter is working up to hitting you up for money, which is the #1 thing they want. When they are drug abusers, it is often money for drugs, but they instead tell us "I just need to get ahead this month, I need rent money, I need a car (like they should be on the road), I need....." If you are not going to enable her, I suggest not giving her any money. If you want to help out, buy her what she says sh e needs or pay to the appropriate person. Just an experienced suggestion. Therapy helps most of us through this. Sounds like you're heading in the right direction. Now it's time to start living your own life and moving on. Hopefully, her kids are safe. They suffer the consequences of drugged up parents. It's sad. Hugs for your hurting mommy heart. We all are with you and you can do this. [/QUOTE]
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