another newbie

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Darcymamma, Jan 6, 2009.

  1. Darcymamma

    Darcymamma New Member

    Hello all just a quick hello to introduce myself. I was told about this site by a friend of mine from Smart Canucks. They are absolutley amazing there it is not just about freebies, but they help.

    I am 28 and have 3 lovely children. I have a daughter who is 9 who acts as though she is 13 or so, she is going through the lets rebel against mommy stage. Let me not tell you how much fun that is, but compared to my difficult child Ds who is 7 it is a walk in the sunny park.

    I also have a funny, fun, lovable 2 yr old ds, he helps to keep mommy sane and laughing without even knowing it. Goodness bless him.

    So I have a hard time with difficult child I have had his teacher phone me a few times to say to come get him, or that she was driving him home for me. She has shown up at the same time as the school bus with him as he was not allowed on the bus, due to behaviour.

    We live in a small town of around 500 and the local school is a small two room school from kindergarten to grade 3.

    My difficult child is in grade 2 now. I have noticed that he is a little off from the regular mold since the time he was 2. My younger sister has adhd/ and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)/ odd so I knew what the signs were right from the get go. Thank-goodness for that. saved me a lot of time there. but he is worse than she was and I am at a sort of loss.

    he has been suspended from school once should have been at least 2 other occasions but the teacher thought he was too young to suspend. now at the tender age of 7 they are thinking that by the end of the year he may be kicked out of the school district. what a shock sort of to me!!

    He has punched the teacher, tripped other kids, thrown desks across the classroom, cried for help out the classroom window, threatened to kill a substitute teacher ( the teacher asked if he could be kept home when this sub. is in as she cannot handle problem children) his teacher is great, she wants to help me help him, I love the fact that she also sees that he needs help.

    I have to take him into a dr. this month to see what they can do for us, he has seen the school counsellor ( she is no help what so ever!!) he has seen the school psychiatric. husband says that he will learn his socail responsibility in time in the next few years, but I know differently and he refuses to see that are son is completley different from all the other children. He once told me that my difficult child is a normal child!! can you beleive that he throws desks around the classroom and that is normal??

    Anyways I was so frustrated when I was told he was to be suspended that I called social services. I had no idea it was ss, but it was. I said i needed help, i was at my wits end and had no support and had no idea where to go for help. The lady I talked to was absolutley lovely!! she made me feel so happy, she said that she was glad I called and that she would lilke to set a mtg. with the school people, me and husband, and ss, and try to find out what can be done to help him. As well as to give me the resources and skills to be able to handle him better and to be less quick to get frustrated with him. When I hung up with her I was crying tears of joy to finally have someone tell me that they knew where to look and that they would help me!!
    so that is some of me sorry it is so long I tend to ramble as I have not really anyone to talkto out here. my friends hear about my alcoholic husband and I never have time to get my troubles with my difficult child out of my head. Thank-you all just for being here even if I do not know you yet, I am sure I will get to know alot of you much better!!
  2. Nancy423

    Nancy423 do I have to be the mom?

    ((HUGS)) sorry you don't feel you're getting any support and had to call SS. Has your son ever been evaluated? Do you have diagnosis's, or are you comparing him to what you saw in your sister? how is he at home?
  3. Lost_in_BC

    Lost_in_BC New Member

    Sometimes you have to practically beg for help. Good for you for calling Social Services.

    When I needed help and no one was really listening I took my DS to the emergency room and demanded to see a Dr in the psychiatric ward. Finally they listened and we are getting the help we need.

    Big Hugs to you. Its not an easy road to walk on.
  4. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    You did well to spot the similar problems to your sister.

    I'm sorry you're having such trouble. We can help.

    Some quick suggestions -

    1) Get your hands on a copy of "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. It's a really good help, even with all you already know of your sister, this can give you some wonderful insight not only into why, but how to deal with it. It made my life easier, because it meant we could throw out reward charts, throw out a lot of other stuff I had to think of, etc.

    2) Out of sheer curiosity, check out the website and look for the online Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) questionnaire. It's not officially diagnostic (we can't diagnose, it takes a professional) but you run the test, print out the results whatever they are and show them to a professional to give them an indication of the sort of concerns you have. it can really help.

    Feel free to vent here, so many of us have been where you are now (and some are yet to go there!). We understand and can help.

    Welcome to the site and the sanity salvation!

  5. tunaq

    tunaq New Member

    {hugs} hang in there and i hope you get all the help you need. i'm so sorry it came down to calling ss, but i am so glad you did and are getting help.