Another one of those teachers who doesn't get it

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TerryJ2, Dec 2, 2012.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Here's the email I just sent. I hope it does the trick.

    Dear Mr. S:
    I noticed online through Parent Express that difficult child had five Fs for
    assignments in your class, which included (if I did this correctly, by memory)
    8.3, 9.1, 10.1 and others, as well as a volcano II assignment.

    He has just finished doing three assignments in front of me at home. But he
    is concerned that he will not get credit for the rest (or even for the ones he's
    done) and is just shutting down. He will not learn anything this way and I need
    some help here. If you could accept the late assignments and give him a low
    grade, say, a D, to indicate that they have been completed, that would be
    I do not know if you told him that he would not get any credit at all, but
    he has interpreted it that way, so I am worried that he will not do any work
    from here on in.
    If you would like to meet in person to discuss this, I would be happy to.
    Just let me know a good time and I will make sure that difficult child is there.
    All the best,
    Terry J
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Im confused. What doesnt the teacher get? Did difficult child do the assignments and they got lost or did he just not do them until you realized they were missing when you checked online? This is one of those things I have been surprised about in the last few years since my kids got out of school. And especially since I got out of school. You didnt do an assignment, you got a zero.
  3. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    I'm fortunate that *most* of the teachers got, or get, Son's difficult child issues. When I've contacted them about a missing assignment, they are usually pretty good about being flexible and are happy to work with him and me. Because I live in a community with a lot of poverty, there is not a lot of parental involvement, so I think I'm kind of a breath of fresh air. Though, in a few cases he did get a whole letter grade taken off; it was better than getting an F though.

    But, I'm with Janet, I'm confused about what this teacher doesn't get.
  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Yes, he should get a zero. But he is who is he and he is shutting down.
    I don't know what else to do.
  5. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    Late assignments; used to be a bane of my existence. Well after we gave up difficult child actually going to school. When he was basically given a permission to play truant as much as he wished, school wanted him show his mastery of the subject also in homework assignments and projects, not only in exams. And you can probably guess how late they used to be and what a battle it was to make him do them. I gave up that battle too, when he finished his compulsory 9 grades and was doing voluntary part of grades 10 to 12. His coaches have not been as good in detachment than I (his team management did after all promise to look after his schooling when he moved out of home) and have been close to ulcer because of those late assignments. But now that it is almost over and done with (only graduation ceremony is left and difficult child plans to be truant from that one too ;)) It is easy to laugh for all that.

    My favourite late assignment story is a newer one. difficult child got an assignment over two years ago. He had to analyse few Charles Baudelaire's poems and write about thematics of his poems a bit more. He decided to use German porn movies as a comparison. His teacher felt he went too far off topic from assignment and demanded a new version. difficult child refused. It was considered a late assignment and to get a grade he needed to turn in a new version and teacher also gave him a new poem to analyse every week the assignment was late. And teacher declined to give him final grade from the course before he had given back both the original new version and all the other poem analysis. difficult child felt it was an illegal punishment and refused to do any extra analysis, or redo the original. He of course was right, our school law doesn't make it possible for teacher to give that kind of punishment. But none of us backed difficult child up and some reason he didn't go over the teacher's or principal's head. Or simply didn't do that course in some other school and transferred the credit. He simply had that incomplete there hanging until this summer he got serious with his hanging incompletes. And ended up doing over two years worth of poem analysis. In August this year he turned in redo of the original, over hundred other poem analysis and twenty page essay about how and why this kind of punishment was illegal (last one he wasn't asked to do that one he came up all by himself.) So idiot child of mine ended up very well versed in poetry because of his hard-headedness. And lucky little idiot he is, he had an option to make his essay in his finals about poem analysis. And after all that practise he did extremely well in that :bigsmile: There certainly are times when I don't know if I should laugh or cry over little idiot of mine and his stubborn ways.

    I hope your son's teacher can help with coming up with some incentive to get your son to do his work.
  6. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    I think you first need to know if, indeed, difficult child *will* get zeros on the assignments. It sounds as if you are not sure.

    I get having to be responsible and meeting a deadline, but ultimately, it's about the learning. That doesn't mean I think that a kid should have an definite amount of time to get them done, but it's the learning, and practice, that counts. Should there be a penalty, or consequence? Yes. But giving zeros, in light of the circumstances, because it wasn't done by the deadline? No.

    JMNSHO :)
  7. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    With #2 he would have the assignments done and in his backpack but UGH forget that he had to place them in the HW bin on the teacher's desk. I ended up having to do a daily checklist with #2, the teacher and me signing off. What a pain in the neck that was. I understand and hope his teacher understands too. Hugs DDD
  8. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    In our (usually dinosaur-mentality SD), any kid with dxes that qualify for "intensive supports" automatically gets an override on the "late = zero" rule. Aspie would automatically qualify. Being a quad in a wheelchair would qualify. Anyone who qualifies for even a part-time in-class assistant would qualify. Here, they get it that learning is the first priority.

    If our SD can do it, yours can too. But you'll probably have to go above the teacher.

    Does he have an IEP? If so... these kinds of accommodations should be in there.
  9. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    In my mind it matters why the assignments arent being done. If the kid is doing them and simply forgetting to do turn them in, thats one thing. If the kid is so overwhelmed at the end of the day because of holding it in all day, thats one thing. However if the kid is simply not doing his classwork because he dont wanna and no one is gonna tell him what to do and he doesnt want to do homework because he wants to spend all after school time with his friends or on the computer, well, I dont think that qualifies as something he should be allowed to rewarded for and have people give him an out. That just teaches them that they are special and the world will continue to treat them as special and trust me, it wont.
  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Yes, he's got a 504. But maybe if it's not an IEP they don't think it's that big of a deal?

    I have no idea why he's not doing the assignments. I thinks it's a combination of factors. I know he does not like the teacher. He talks very fast, like he's on caffeine, and seems to want to get the kids psyched up, but to me, all I see is that he's wound up and he's left half the kids behind.

    I thought that we had spoken about late assignments being dropped a letter grade for each late day, but that's what the entire class does. I don't know where the 504 fits in there.
    And I'm betting that the teacher responds that if difficult child gets As and Bs from now on, he'll finish the class with-a D and pass.
    Has nothing to do with-learning ...
  11. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Terry, the 504 or IEP only applies if it specifically addresses the issue of late assignments. If it says that he gets different grading on late work or that he has extra time, then you can force the school to make the teacher follow that agreement. If the IEP or 504 does not have anything about late assignments or different deadlines, then there is nothing to enforce and the same rules apply to difficult child as to all other students.

    I realize that learning is the issue. However, turning in assignments is part of the homework assignment. I have zero clue why all of a sudden this generation refuses to turn in work they have completed. I do know that it is now an epidemic in our schools. I don't think that it is okay. I think this sets our kids up to have a very hard time functioning in the real world, and that it results in workers and a society that thinks that each person should have their own rules. the last five times I was in the tag agency to renew a license or car tag there was some teen or twenty something who was all upset because they missed the deadline and had to pay extra or go take the driver's test(s) because their license or car tag expired and was too far past expiration to renew with-o either a big fine or testing or both. They also thought that tickets received for driving with-o tags or a license should be waived because they went and got the license or tags again.

    in my opinion they learned this from the schools and parents who extended deadlines and gave credit for assignments that were late. It boggles my mind. Of course from jr high on, we didn't pass a class if we had any assignments not turned in. even ONE assignment worth one point that was outstanding mean you flunked the class. You did have two days past deadline to turn things in and get credit - lost one letter grade the first time, got half credit the second day, and no credit after that. Even if you got no credit, if it wasn't turned in you didn't pass the class. Period. School policy.

    Guess hwat? We ended up with higher test scores and more National Merit and other academic scholarships than any previous classes ever had. We were also much more successful in college than previous classes were. We learned more and that was partly BECAUSE of these rules.

    I don't think that every child should get unlimited extensions. I do think that some kids do need them. It is a balancing act, and it is tough to do. I hope that you can work somethng out so that difficult child won't shut down, but I also think he needs to accept responsibility for his grades and turning in his work. Sadly, I do NOT know how you accomplish this. there was a time when we had to just give up on Wiz' grades because he became so violent that it was not something I would confront. I don't know what your solution will be, but maybe natural consequences, which is having to repeat the class, is not a bad thing.

    Only you and husband can figure out how to handle this, and whatever you decide you have my FULL support.
  12. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Okay, this is what the teacher emailed back (clearly, late assignments are not included in the 504, and if they were, I would keep it a secret between the teachers and myself and only use it as a backup plan): Dear Mrs. J,

    Homework assignments are due on the due date and are not accepted late unless a student is absent with an excused note. However, what I have done for difficult child is offer an opportunity for a double grade on the next 4 assignments: 12.1-12.4, 13.1-13.4, 14.1-14.3, and 15.1-15.4. This will enable him to recover his grade. Concerning the Earthquakes II assignment, Chris was given extended time and I even scaled the graphing assignment for him and discussed in detail with notes the answers to the questions. What will boost his grade will be the completion of a correctly written current event by tomorrow. He also has a test that day. Please have him study the notes I gave.
  13. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Has he gotten a formal Aspie diagnosis yet? Any way to get it?
    Might be enough to trigger a switch from 504 to IEP... with additional accommodations. And the IEP has more teeth.
  14. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Yes, we got one 4 yrs ago. What difference would it make? He "acts" normal and that's all they care about. Anything else is attitude. :(
  15. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    If he has the Aspie diagnosis... then most of the problem is NOT attitude.
    But the biggest problem is that he is TREATED as though the problem IS attitude.

    been there done that.

    He needs dozens of supports and accomodations that he isn't getting.
    At school, at home, and anywhere else in his life.
    And he needed them 10 years ago.
    (been there done that too)
  16. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Well maybe first thing is to update the 504?. Not saying he can have unlimited time always but saying he needs to advocate for himself (may need support to do so till he learns how) by going to.a.teacher and negotiating a one time per assignment adjustment. If he does it every time at first that's ok. As he gains skills you can add a limit (put in positive terms like for every assignment on time he gets X). And now that he is in high-school the other option is to let him fail and use that to get an iep.
  17. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    Sounds just like my difficult child! First of all I'd be wondering why you still only have a 504 and not an IEP? I'd be working on getting that done and in place asap as it WILL make a difference and them more accountable (difficult child may will still be accountable for his actions as well).

    My difficult child- he's like a soda bottle in school all day...shake, shake, shake...come home....take lid off, explode! He can only keep himself together at school for so long and takes a lot of effort to do so and then once home let's loose. He has a lot of work, mostly homework that he doesn't get done but "could" get it done through out the day in school. Sometimes he will miss classwork however.

    The times he misses classwork falls under these reasons:

    He is passively getting back at a teacher because 1) they might have reprimanded him for something or even "talked to him" and he felt it negatively or thought he was being "yelled at"-it ends up hurting him by doing so. He has an issue with the teacher - often it's a teacher that does not "get" children like ours and though we've had many IEP meetings to go over this and how to handle him or go over his IEP and what they "must" do according to it (accommodations) they may not be doing so.

    As for homework issues:

    Quite often he does have it done but just doesn't get it turned in! It's "lost" in his zip binder (case it) somewhere as he is so disorganized and not matter what we've done over 5 years, it hasn't changed a thing other then having his sped case manager go through it daily to pull things out- to which they outright REFUSE to do this year stating he should be able to do this by now! Yes, by age he should but he has ADD and it doesn't matter if it's school work or in this house this is what happens with him. Other times it is just "lost" and still other times he just didn't do it.....and it truly is HOMEWORK and hence the above...shaken soda syndrome.

    As behavior specialist of school district told them outright and they REFUSED to accept and do....if it's the soda thing...which he is....there is NO reason to require him to do the extra homework if he CLASS grades and testing prove his grades are high. He can and does the work and knows it. They just will not budge on this at all.

    What we DO have as an accomodation is that he gets 2 days in addition to the 1 day extra that all other students get to make up the work, then it's a zero! You see this kid CAN do the work SOME days, in fact on a GOOD day he could do 5-10 pages of work easily (though it might not be neat). On others you won't get anything out of him and of the pages he does, NEVER at home!
  18. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I know, I know! I don't know what to do about it, as far as the school is concerned, though.
    I've emailed the counselor and hope to meet with-him this week.
    Also, the teacher from difficult child's NILD class said she'd be happy to write up something about his auditory processing issues (not to be confused with hearing). He'll never make it through HS at this rate.
  19. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Maybe go back to square one? Put a formal request in writing sent registered mail...You know the drill, sigh.
  20. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Quite possibly.
    I'll give the counselor one more day.