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Family of Origin
Another point of view on Shunning. And shunning vs. no contact
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 674749" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Yes. All those years trying to make sense of how the pieces fit and who we were and how we had somehow managed to not measure up. To understand that others have this warmth, and that it is real is a piercingly lonely feeling.</p><p></p><p>I still wonder why shunning would be used to the degree it is in a family system. In my family of origin, it is shunning that is the unspoken threat. The last time this happened, my mother told me she had told me she was going to do "this".</p><p></p><p>She actually told me those words.</p><p></p><p>I did not know what she meant by "this". </p><p></p><p>It must have been that my mother meant shunning.</p><p></p><p>We did not speak for five years.</p><p></p><p>My mother told everyone that if Cedar did not want to be part of this family, then this family wanted no part of her.</p><p></p><p>And I was left with that feeling that none of the pieces fit. And I did not have this site and all of you, yet. I did go into therapy over it, but you know, I think that therapist (a different one than the first one) wasn't sure what to do with me.</p><p></p><p>Maybe, we are only beginning to learn how damning it is to be shunned.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 674749, member: 17461"] Yes. All those years trying to make sense of how the pieces fit and who we were and how we had somehow managed to not measure up. To understand that others have this warmth, and that it is real is a piercingly lonely feeling. I still wonder why shunning would be used to the degree it is in a family system. In my family of origin, it is shunning that is the unspoken threat. The last time this happened, my mother told me she had told me she was going to do "this". She actually told me those words. I did not know what she meant by "this". It must have been that my mother meant shunning. We did not speak for five years. My mother told everyone that if Cedar did not want to be part of this family, then this family wanted no part of her. And I was left with that feeling that none of the pieces fit. And I did not have this site and all of you, yet. I did go into therapy over it, but you know, I think that therapist (a different one than the first one) wasn't sure what to do with me. Maybe, we are only beginning to learn how damning it is to be shunned. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Another point of view on Shunning. And shunning vs. no contact
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