Another question re. CS and court

[klmno]

This is about court for difficult child's father, assuming they locate him. I'm thinking that a court hearing will be scheduled here and papers served on him thru the state he's in. He won't appear, another hearing will be scheduled (maybe a show cause) and he still won't appear. Then what? If a warrant is issued will he ever end up appearing in court in this state? Do they really issue summons to people out of state to appear in court a few hundred miles away when the father has never even lived in this state- difficult child was conceived and born in the state his father has always lived in? Or will this turn into going to court in that state even though it is the state we live in going after the father, not me?

by the way, I told difficult child about this and he handled it well. I'm sure he'll have mixed feelings as time passes but it seems to have helped that he's learning about teen boys in there having to take paternity tests, not wanting to be "stuck" paying CS, etc.

 

[JJJ]

Klmno,

Why are you worried about this? Department of Juvenile Justice is handling this burden.

 

[klmno]

I just want him to have to face his son someday- if he goes to court out of state instead of here, that will never happen.

 

[DammitJanet]

It will happen there I think. When my ex was actually given his child support order it was done in FL and I lived in VA. We were married in VA, he had left us in VA and the child was born in VA. I also got temporary custody in VA but got my divorce in SC. Now that I think about it, maybe he wasnt found for the order until I was in SC. But I know that he didnt come to my state.

 

[dun4]

I agree with Dammit Janet he'll probably go to court where he is unless he choses to come to your state. I just finished a court case against my ex for increased child support and medicals he won't pay and he lives in another state. My lawyer told me my ex didn't have to come down, it could all be done over the phone. I do child care and one of my clients did a custody case with the bioDad and he's 3 states away. They did the teleconference/phone thing.

 

[klmno]

Well, darn. Is there any way difficult child can possibly see his father thru all this- just so he will know what he looks like and know that he's seen him? What if I file for CS after difficult child is released, assuming the state gets paternity established before then?

 

[DammitJanet]

This CS is already being filed and will be an ongoing thing. They will most likely go after arrearages from when difficult child was born for you, or actually difficult child, and then it will be ongoing after difficult child gets out of Department of Juvenile Justice. You could write a letter to him and tell him that you are willing for him to see difficult child if that is what you want.

 

[klmno]

Are you saying that even though the money (HA!) will go to Department of Juvenile Justice now, DSS will automatically continue it and forward it to me instead of Department of Juvenile Justice upon difficult child's release? If that's the case, the father will probably be doing something to get visitation.

 

[DammitJanet]

This will be a continuing order.

Hello Mr X, you are being ordered to pay child support for difficult child in the amount of XXX from Date YYY. We also find that you are in arrears in the amount of SSS. Please give this office the name of your employer so we can set up automatic payroll deduction. If you are self employed, you must make payments to the Child Support Enforcement agency. Failure to follow this order will result in fines and/or imprisonment. Thank you.

 

[KTMom91]

In CA, Miss KT's father was not charged for any support from before the paperwork was actually submitted, even though we were separated for nearly a year before I could afford to file. I don't know how different it would be with Department of Juvenile Justice involved, and there may not even be an order filed for support for you.

 

[klmno]

Hummmm....it sounds like no matter what, since I have enough information to provide them, they can contact him and he is going to know what is going on which just reinforces what I told him when I was pregnant and when difficult child was 6yo- HE IS THE FATHER and if he doubts it, he can take a blood test. I don't really think he doubts it- which is why he ran instead of taking the test. But difficult child told me today that he hopes they look for him for years and he doesn't care how long it takes and if they can't find him, he'll look for him and find him once he's grown. I don't think difficult child really believes/expects "love" from him, I think difficult child is starting to see that the man is a pig and owes him something- like at least being man enough to look at his son.

 

[everywoman]

K---Hopefully, as difficult child ages, he will let go of some of that pain. My oldest hasn't seen his bio in 11 years. Bio was a Disneyland dad before that...but only saw him a few times a year. When easy child turned 14, he stopped visiting. After 16 he cut off all communication. easy child got old enough to ask questions about child support and why his dad didn't provide for him. Right now, easy child lives in the same city as his bio. He has mentioned the possibility of looking him up---just to let bio know what he's missed out on. The man has a wonderful, successful son with a beautiful wife and two precious children...but he doesn't want or expect a relationship. He said he knows who is dad is, and that is the one who raised him, the man his son calls Pepa, the man who was his best man in his wedding.