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Another random thought running around in my head
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 726732" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I tend to give a lot, like to a homeless person on the street, unwanted animals, kids who need an ear and one I drove a lady every day for a month trying to find a place where she could rent with seven young children and we found her a place!</p><p></p><p>I expect nothing back except the selfish good way I feel when I do it. These are not people who are close to me....I just chose to lend a hand.</p><p></p><p>For my husband and kids I give lots and get lots. This was not so much with men I dated when I was single or with casual friends. I observe that if you give too much to people who you care about, but whom you are not sure cares back, you get seen as a doormat and it does not work. Trust me, you are not alone. Everyone needs boundaries. Everyone needs to be able to say no. I am not a Christian, but are you not supposed to be good to yourself too? Can you not say "I am so sorry but I can't" and still be a Christian? Can you not eliminate toxic people from your life for both of your good? Can you not love them even if you can't socialize with them? Is love not enough?</p><p></p><p>I think that being giving is not supposed to be without boundaries or expectations of receiving gratitude in return, at least from close people.</p><p></p><p>When I give to somebody helpless whom I don't know,there is no expectation. If I give to a friend I at least expect them to treat me well. To at least be warm and say thanks.</p><p></p><p>I don't know if any religion expects us to give to ungrateful people. Have you read the Christian book Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend? This is a great place to start.</p><p></p><p>I believe that we are here to learn unconditional love, but this includes loving ourselves too. Respecting ourselves.</p><p></p><p>I hope you do read the book and have peace tonight.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 726732, member: 1550"] I tend to give a lot, like to a homeless person on the street, unwanted animals, kids who need an ear and one I drove a lady every day for a month trying to find a place where she could rent with seven young children and we found her a place! I expect nothing back except the selfish good way I feel when I do it. These are not people who are close to me....I just chose to lend a hand. For my husband and kids I give lots and get lots. This was not so much with men I dated when I was single or with casual friends. I observe that if you give too much to people who you care about, but whom you are not sure cares back, you get seen as a doormat and it does not work. Trust me, you are not alone. Everyone needs boundaries. Everyone needs to be able to say no. I am not a Christian, but are you not supposed to be good to yourself too? Can you not say "I am so sorry but I can't" and still be a Christian? Can you not eliminate toxic people from your life for both of your good? Can you not love them even if you can't socialize with them? Is love not enough? I think that being giving is not supposed to be without boundaries or expectations of receiving gratitude in return, at least from close people. When I give to somebody helpless whom I don't know,there is no expectation. If I give to a friend I at least expect them to treat me well. To at least be warm and say thanks. I don't know if any religion expects us to give to ungrateful people. Have you read the Christian book Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend? This is a great place to start. I believe that we are here to learn unconditional love, but this includes loving ourselves too. Respecting ourselves. I hope you do read the book and have peace tonight. [/QUOTE]
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Another random thought running around in my head
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