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Another rough day...
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 649581" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Lil, those conversations are extremely difficult to get through. In spite if it, you did a really good job. And, I know it hurts like hell. </p><p></p><p>My word is "refrain." Refrain until he is retrained. He keeps calling and texting because in the past it worked and your doubts give him an opening to pursue. When you have no more doubts, when you stand strong in your 'no' he will stop the incessant calls and texts. I went through that. Most of us have gone through it. It felt to me like a junkie, me being the junkie, my fix being helping or more precisely, enabling. It's hard to keep doing it. But what is the alternative? To jump to it every time he needs something? Note that he found someone to bring him food. They always find a way. It's just a lot easier to call Mom and dump the guilt on her and get your ramen noodles then have to work it in some other way. </p><p></p><p>You did well Lil. Really. And, while you are now feeling bad? He is eating with his friend. He has forgotten the exchanges with you completely, he's now on a new track. You're the one suffering. He isn't. Remember that. That is the truth. </p><p></p><p>Put it behind you now and go enjoy your weekend. No one starves to death in 2 days. I'm sorry it hurts so much. It's just time, let time do it's thing.......hang in there......</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 649581, member: 13542"] Lil, those conversations are extremely difficult to get through. In spite if it, you did a really good job. And, I know it hurts like hell. My word is "refrain." Refrain until he is retrained. He keeps calling and texting because in the past it worked and your doubts give him an opening to pursue. When you have no more doubts, when you stand strong in your 'no' he will stop the incessant calls and texts. I went through that. Most of us have gone through it. It felt to me like a junkie, me being the junkie, my fix being helping or more precisely, enabling. It's hard to keep doing it. But what is the alternative? To jump to it every time he needs something? Note that he found someone to bring him food. They always find a way. It's just a lot easier to call Mom and dump the guilt on her and get your ramen noodles then have to work it in some other way. You did well Lil. Really. And, while you are now feeling bad? He is eating with his friend. He has forgotten the exchanges with you completely, he's now on a new track. You're the one suffering. He isn't. Remember that. That is the truth. Put it behind you now and go enjoy your weekend. No one starves to death in 2 days. I'm sorry it hurts so much. It's just time, let time do it's thing.......hang in there...... [/QUOTE]
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