My idiot gfgbro called today. He DEMANDED to know if we were celebrating Jessie's birthday tomorrow. We just HAVE TO celebrate it tomorrow because his ex has niece this week. He tried to make it sound like a HUGE emergency that we HAD to let him know the PLAN. There is no big "PLAN". Last time we spoke I told him we would NOT be celebrating with him or speaking to him again. I did not give an end date or say that it was "for a while". I said, and meant, that we will NOT be interacting with him on any level again. husband only answered the phone because he was napping when the phone rang. It woke him up and he picked it up to make it stop ringing. husband was laughing when he came to tell me about it. Gfgbro apparently has decided that if he acts like I never said that we won't see him again or "celebrate" with him again then I will "forget" it too. Until the next time he gets upset and wants to use it to beat me up emotionally. This is his second favorite thing to do. The other is to flat out tell me, and my parents, that whatever awful things he said and did to me never happened. He makes sure that no one else is around except husband or my kids. When I draw a boundary or react to his ugliness, he runs to Mommy and Daddy to tell them I am imagining things, am delusional, am lying, am out to get him, or am trying to make him "look bad". He will skip work or invent a crisis so that he can speak to Mom before I can so that she is inoculated against whatever I might say. He is out of luck this time. We did talk about what she wants to do. ON her birthday (Monday) we will all go to a matinee and then have cake and ice cream at my parents or at home, depending if my parents want to be involved. My house is NOT in shape for company and I am in NO shape to get it that way. If gfgbro shows up at my parents we will leave as politely as possible. We will do all we can to not make a scene, but we will also NOT tolerate being forced to spend time with him. My kids deserve better than that. Esp Jess on her birthday. What a tool he is. I have been doing MUCH better about not dwelling on him or even thinking about him. The one thought that keeps popping up is to wonder WHY he treats everyone else with some level of respect and at least decent manners and civility but he feels free to do/say whatever he wants to me however he wants. Why am I treated so differently and so devalued? When this pushes into my mind I tell myself that it isn't something that CAN be understood and it is a waste of my time and energy to worry and wonder about it. I do realize why I felt so comfortable as a teen/twentysomething walking around some of the bad areas of Cinci during the day and even walking around my town and the city where I went to college late at night. I have been through so much damage with my family that I figured that strangers would leave me alone. Strangers don't CARE what you do or if you exist. It is the people who know you that will hurt you every time. I am saddened that I saw the world that way. It is fairly true, but not everyone you know will hurt you, you cannot live a full life if you don't trust a few people. I am BLESSED to have husband, my kids, and my online family. Thanks for helping me realize that I CAN trust people.