Another Step Forward

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Hound dog, Feb 25, 2009.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    So much for "pushing" Nichole outta the nest. Seems like once the idea took hold......and Mom and easy child letting her know we're certain she has the skills needed to do it.........

    She's all excited about getting her own place and moving out. :D

    She is taking the first steps of moving out on her own. Looking into the low income apartments I had a referral for that are nice and a very safe place to live. She's planning on getting the application in by beginning of next week. Not rushing, sometimes it can take awhile to get into these places so she doesn't want to wait.

    If she can get one of these will be free because she's a non working full time student and single Mom. She's also get food stamps, and depending on child support, a small monthly check to help with other expenses. And being on welfare she can even get her phone at a discounted rate. :)

    Although, if she doesn't pass the licensing exam that she's required to pass to move forward in the actual paramedic classes, she's planning on going to work next quarter while still going to school. But low income place will adjust for that too.

    easy child is moving to a larger house in a few weeks. Nichole asked her to not toss out anything until she sees if Nichole might want it for her own place. lol And she's already asking what she can take with her from here. I had fun teasing her about her bed, which had been easy child's bed before her when she wanted to take it. I asked her why she should be able to take it, I bought it. Had her going for quite a while until it dawned on her to ask for it. lol

    Actually, she already has quite a bit of stuff. A bed, tv, dressers, computer and desk, Aubrey's bedroom furniture. And she's planning on doing alot of yard saling before the "big move".

    Now this one will knock your socks off.

    She is not planning to move out with boyfriend!! :surprise: She said she doesn't mind if he wants to join her after a few months......but she'd like to do it on her own for a bit.

    That was a shocker.......although I'm not holding my breath. Because since she told him that he suddenly is all excited and is acting like he'd like to move in with her.:ashamed: Or it could be cuz she told him he was too much of a wuss to ever move out of his parents home......that he'd reitre there. lol

    Still, this is a big leap for her. Do I think she's ready? Yes. She's been ready for a while. She's handled all her own business, and done it well. I'm sure she's nervous, but at least now she sees that she's ready to try it on her own.

    Like I said, she's not rushing. She's hoping to move by August, thinking that will give her plenty of time to prepare. If she gets a spot sooner.....fine. But that's her plan.

    I'm proud of this kid. If I knew her psychiatrist's home number I'd call her to fill her in on the wonderful progress Nichole has made. She'd be so proud too. God, at 15 Nichole's future looked so bleak.........We went thru so much. Yup. She makes me proud.

  2. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    That is so great and promising to hear. My Diva is talking about moving out but needs a job 1st. We had an interesting conversation about a job opportunity watching a difficult child who is my difficult child's age. Great kid, well behaved.

    Diva asked how much she should charge and we discussed that she could offer a "stay at home" rate and a "field trip/taxi to programs" rate. She then calculated to see if she could make enough for her 1/2 of rent she and a friend are talking about.

    I told Diva, "1/2 your money will go to rent, 1/2 to car payments and you will have nothing to live on. That is how I started." She assured me she did not have car payments - which is true but she needs to learn about the world of insurance and cost of maintenance.

    I think moving into your own place is so exciting. I am excited for Nichole. Would she like a temporary room mate? Just long enough to teach my Diva a few of life's responsibility lessons?
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Make sure N knows that boyfriend probably isnt welcome much at that apartment. If those are low income places, they take into consideration everyone's income who lives there and that would include boyfriend if he stayed most nights. Housing has a way of finding this out...especially in small towns. Wouldnt want her to get in trouble over boyfriend.
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Good point Janet. And I'll tell her about that. Although here if boyfriend moves in it's no biggy. They add him into the lease and the rent is adjusted according to total income. Currently boyfriend is not working. His co shut down and put thousands out of work.

    You never know with boyfriend. That kid can be ok, but he is such a major difficult child himself. Although I've seen some improvement, not tons, but some over these past months.

    Nichole said he got all upset when she told him she wanted to move on her own.

    boyfriend: But we're a team, you're breaking up the team.

    Nichole: What "team" ??? I don't see a ring on my finger.

    That cracked me up. You know when they're kids you swear they never hear a word you say..........then one day they start using all that stuff you taught them and you realize they weren't quite as deaf as they pretended to be. :rofl:
  5. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Progress, progress! :bravo: :thumbsup: :wine:

  6. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    That's wonderful news!

    My difficult child moved out about 3 months ago and moved in with his girlfriend into the smallest apartment I have ever seen -- the whole apartment is 17 square meters. But so far they are happy there. There isn't room for a washing machine there, so I do their washing -- I consider it a small price to pay for having him out of here. The quality of our lives is so much better now!

    Enjoy the progress! I sounds like she is really maturing.

    Love, Esther
  7. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Good for Nichole. Hope she gets her apt. -RM
  8. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Great news for you. LOL.
    You will have more peace in your house. I'm with Esther in that I would do laundry to keep them happy and out of the house. LOL.
    For some reason I thought boyfriend worked for mom who owned some sandwich shops. I may be confused with someone else. My memory hasn't been working well lately.
    I would really check into what the rules are about boyfriend. She doesn't want to go in blind then find out she lost some benefits because boyfriend is staying there. The benefit folks are used to this sort of thing and will find out. If it doesn't matter or it does, she needs to know that up front so it's not a "surprise" or someone else's fault.
    I would help her set up for success. You can see if boyfriend moves in, difficult child loses some benefits then when she has a fight with boyfriend she will move back home saying boyfriend caused her to lose benefits. She will have sabotaged herself.
  9. Star*

    Star* call 911

    can I have her room? I KNOW YOU TAKE IN STRAYS!!!!

  10. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    What wonderful news! Sounds like Nichole's doing very well.
  11. Lori4ever

    Lori4ever New Member

    How awesome! She is growing up. for sure! Good for her!
  12. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    This is fabulous, she sounds so mature! I'm proud of her! You must be so happy seeing her grow like this.-Alyssa
  13. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Coming in late but that's great!!! It's always fun to plan your first place.....can we "help"?? LOL

    Actually, I do have some advice for her to help find the stuff she needs. Obviously, Nichole can start out buying a little here and there. Watch the clearance aisle at least in my store, there are always a variety of things there. Summer is coming and all of the "mart" store will have big displays of the plastic pitchers and glasses that look like glass but aren't. Those are pretty handy to have with a toddler in the house and cheap too!

    Anything big that she needs, assuming you have someplace to store it until moving day, freecycle is great. If you aren't familiar with it, search Yahoo for it. People post things they are giving away and normally all you need to do to get it is be the first person to respond and be able to pick it up. A lot of the time with furniture, it will be older stuff but generally clean or cleanable. Again, old furniture + toddler = good thing! LOL

    Big Lots is a good store for finding new things cheap also. Watch the ads because you never know what they will get in each week.

    Oh and get curtains!!! I always hated moving and not knowing what size windows there would be so I could buy blinds ahead of time. Most apartments have basic window sizes so your curtain options are pretty good.

    Ooooh! And to decorate....basic black frames containing interesting calendar pictures!!! CHEAP!!! am I getting a bit too involved in this??? :redface:

    Anyway....congrats all the way around!
  14. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    LOL Stang.

    Are you sure you're not my sis in disguise??

    She lives in Indiana................ But no, you can't be. She's got 3 difficult children and you only have one. ;)

    Those are all our fav places too. :) And I really laughed when I saw the "calendar pictures" because that's what easy child did in her first place. She had a calender full of Normal Rockwell prints. People kept asking to buy her pictures. lol

    We also have a really nice 2nd hand furniture store here in town. Clean very nice used stuff for dirt cheap. Actually, planning on dragging husband in there tomorrow to look for a new couch for me......with 2 dogs and a cat it doesn't pay to buy new.
  15. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Me, too!...although it was my third apartment. I couldn't afford to frame them until then. lol

  16. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    THREE difficult child's?????

    Dear Lord.

    I don't think I could handle three. The one I have is more than enough, thank you very much! LOL So no, guess I'm not your secret sister! But I do enjoy this kind of stuff. When one of my "baby" cousins got his first place, I put together a box o'stuff for him. Apparently I went a little overboard because husband had to put his foot down when I bought a certain amount of stuff. I don't know why...all it has was: Ramen noodles, mac & cheese, salt and pepper, a splatter guard, small bottle of Tide, measuring cups/spoons, spices, cans of soup and veggies, a few cooking utensils...maybe a few more (pounds of) miscellaneous things. Not a big deal....don't know why husband was in a tizzy. LOL

    I'm glad Nichole is getting into this though. You need the quiet and she needs to know that she can do this. And Nichole? You CAN do this!!!